So, I finally have to say it: people from the U.S. really don’t know how to behave when they are abroad. I don’t know what it is, but we just can’t help embarrassing ourselves or, if we aren’t embarrassed, everyone else is.
After two months, I have a few stories that make me want to claim Canadian status. I have to accept that some people just don’t realize that the world is heterogeneous and that people have different ways of living. I have also come to realize that the word “respect” is not well known in the U.S. and is especially forgotten by American students abroad. Somehow, people are more demanding, more obnoxious and more oblivious the farther from home they get.
For instance, the first week I arrived at my program, I was appalled to find that most of the students took “free evenings” to mean bar time. This would not be so bad seeing as this is common university student behavior; however, a few people felt that going to the bar meant getting totally smashed.
One story, which I only heard about but seems valid, shows why you should enjoy the buzz and not the binge. A girl got very drunk, started yelling in Italian in a bar, left all of her things to be retrieved by another group member, walked down the street screaming and yelled at her taxi driver and threw U.S. money in his face. Not the best impression you can give in the first few days of your stay.
While I now realize that my view of studying abroad as a time to learn and live among Roman, Byzantine and Ottoman ruins and an awesomely different culture was naive and idealistic, I did not know that for most people, going abroad meant partying. In Turkey, luckily, this seems somewhat tempered by the social climate, but I was still surprised.
It seems to me that once outside the U.S., people think everyone should understand them and bend to their whims. You really need to pack some flexibility and adventure in your bags, especially if you go to a country that is not particularly “Western.” The great thing about going abroad is finding differences and reevaluating your expectations.
Additionally, while I don’t think people should try to behave exactly like a native, a little understanding of the cultural situation goes a long way. For instance, while visiting Istanbul and standing outside the Greek Patriarchate (the Vatican for Eastern Orthodox Christians), one of the guys started dancing and singing. The guard asked what kind of behavior that was for such a place. It pays to know a little bit before you arrive to avoid extremely awkward and embarrassing faux pas.
While these were pretty awkward for our group and definitely don’t portray U.S. students as the most polite and aware in the world, the most awkward situation so far was at a concert. I ran into a group of U.S. musicians who were doing a blues tour in Turkey. They invited me to their concert in Ankara. Of course, I went because being on the VIP list is just that cool.
The concert was good and one song was particularly awesome. In the middle of the song, however, the woman stopped singing and started talking. Now, it is important to be aware of your audience, and the audience’s comprehension of English was limited. Secondly, it is important to have some cultural awareness. To avoid being like Richard Gere kissing an Indian movie star, it’s important to know what is overtly incorrect. But, this musician missed that part of the prep talk.
She started off rather nicely by saying she loved Turkey. She then said she loved the call to prayer because it sounded beautiful and because “Turks have five set times to get on their knees and pray to God.” At that sentence, my friend and I cringed. To make matters worse, she continued talking about the subject for five more minutes.
Know your audience. Know the country you are visiting. Ankara is Ataturk’s capital of modernity. Religion is a hot topic in Turkey, and people just wanted to hear some blues.
So, all I’m saying is, if you want to go abroad — be it for a week or a year — know a little about where you’re headed. Have respect for people’s ways of living and try not to be obnoxious. Life is awkward as it is. Throw in a different language, a different culture and a little U.S. ethnocentrism, and everything just goes to hell.
Jessica’s columns ran biweekly Tuesdays. This is Jessica’s last column. She can be reached at j.walker@cavalierdaily.com.
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