After much detective work, a whole lot of string-pulling and a pinch of sheer cunning, I have discovered the best-kept secret at U.Va. No, it’s not the members of the Seven Society or the actual proceedings behind fraternity initiations. It doesn’t involve traveling through steam tunnels or sneaking into bars. No, this secret is far more clandestine — quite possibly because no one really believes me. But here it is. Take it or leave it: Clemons Library is where the party’s at.
Don’t believe me? It’s a Monday night and I’m on the second floor. Alas, you say, what a loser. Because I am open to others’ opinions, let us take a moment to consider this. Yes, it is entirely possible that I am, in fact, not cool. While I personally disagree, I understand the logic behind my alleged geekdom. Sure, I spend so much time in the library that I ought to be paying rent. And yeah, I get frantic about my GPA and overall academic standing. Doesn’t everyone? No? Oh. Me neither.
So maybe I am a dork. Maybe I should adopt a pair of suspenders and recite digits of pi to anyone who will listen. I’ll invest in a pocket protector and change my name to Poindexter. I’ll even memorize “Star Trek” episodes and start my own blog.
Or we could all just give Lauren a little credit and believe her when she assures us that she is not super lame. I mean, I don’t have people rank my coolness from zero to, say, David Hasselhoff or anything, so I can’t be sure. But just because I prefer to spend my time at Clemons does not mean I’m pathetic. Like I said, Clemons is where it’s at. And by “it,” I mean the ultimate party experience. Let me explain.
You see, the second floor of Clemons is less of a study floor than it is a giant social gathering. Students from every corner of Grounds make the journey here both daily and nightly, intending not to finish that 10-page paper or study for that final but to catch up with friends and waste a night of potential productivity.
But who, you ask, would voluntarily spend their time socializing at a library when they could do it elsewhere? It’s a good question, isn’t it? But I believe that people like to fool themselves: By merely sitting in the library, they become convinced that they are getting something done.
Then, when midnight rolls around and nothing has been accomplished, the true nature of second-floor Clemons is revealed: This place is a massive knot of social interaction. It’s a giant party, and everyone’s invited. Even you, dear reader. Even you.
So get out there and “study!” Don’t accept the disguise of Clemons Library, the one that tags it as the place where fun comes to die (not exactly a beloved reputation). Realize that without Clemons, you’d be sitting alone in your dorm, actually doing your work. And let’s be honest, how much would that suck?
That’s all the venting I have for now. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to see a guy about pocket protectors.
Lauren’s column runs biweekly Thursdays. She can be reached at l.kimmel@cavalierdaily.com.
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