It is a new year, which means another realm of possibilities in the entertainment world. While we here at tableau believe 2008 had its highlights (The Dark Knight, Tha Carter III, Tina Fey as Sarah Palin), we look forward to the coming months in the hope of even greater events — equal parts entertaining, outrageous and unforeseen. In order to prepare for such occasions, we have gathered our thoughts and made a few predictions regarding 2009. Here is to hoping for the most wild, controversial and exciting year yet!
Watchmen Knocks Our Socks Off
For a time, lawsuits between Warner Bros. and 20th Century Fox threatened this movie adaptation of Alan Moore’s legendary graphic novel from making it to the silver screen. Now that those legal issues have been settled, look for director Zack Snyder (300) to bring his unique, heavily green-screened vision to the source material. Rumor has it the novel’s controversial ending may have been tweaked, so be sure to keep an ear open for fanboy reactions.
U2 Discovers New Horizon
It has almost been five years since U2 released their last album, How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, but the band returns this year with their new album, No Line on the Horizon. Expect an eclectic mix of classic U2 with some experimental new electronic touches, resulting in what we expect to be the biggest rock album of the year.
Oprah Goes Gastric
This may be more dreaming than an actual prediction because we are just plain tired of hearing Oprah complain about her ever-fluctuating weight. A gastric-bypass surgery would surely put an end to this, and because Oprah has always been one to milk her own health struggles, it would prove to be the perfect fodder for the talk show queen.
MTV Goes Throughout the Year Without Playing a Single Music Video
Sigh.
Britney and Justin are Reunited
Like John and Yoko, Ozzy and Sharon, and Kurt and Courtney, some people are just meant to be together. Years have gone by since the Prince and Princess of Pop’s bitter, humiliating and very public breakup, and we reckon it is time the hatchet is buried and destiny is finally embraced — complete with a Timbaland-produced, Michael Jackson-sampling duet.
Amy Poehler Saves Television
Returning to primetime television after many successful years on Saturday Night Live, Poehler is geared to star in an upcoming comedy being developed by the same brains behind The Office. With her undeniable charisma and controlled-yet-crazy acting, we’re placing our money on Poehler becoming one of the biggest television stars in years.
Trekkies Take Over
Forget the spiraling economy, ongoing conflict in Gaza and shady governors. The greatest threat President Barack Obama is going to face this year will be when J.J. Abram’s new Star Trek film hits theaters this May and Trekkies everywhere come to dominate society once more. If early looks are to be believed, the film seems to hint at a grittier, character-driven story. Filmmakers be warned — Trek is notorious for having the most critical fans alive.
Eminem Reclaims Rap Supremacy
After years of personal struggles and being in and out of the recording studio, things seem to be falling into place this year for one of the most outspoken musicians ever to make a remarkable return. Pop culture has endured some remarkable transformations — YouTube, Perez Hilton — since we last heard from Eminem, and we hugely anticipate his take on the changes that have occurred, complete with his one-of-a-kind, biting lyrical style.
Miley Cyrus Marries
Because of her seeming desire to run through all the obligatory celebrity scandals before she is of voting age, this seems like the only logical next step, right?
Pottermania Returns
Twilight be gone; with the upcoming summer release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the original phenomenon is poised to reclaim its rightful place as the premier book franchise. The sixth Potter book was author’s J.K. Rowling most character-driven chapter by far, so look for a little less hocus-pocus and more of the trademark British humor and awkward teenage romance we’ve come to expect from the Potter franchise.
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