As anyone who was ever single on Valentine’s Day knows, it can be a bit of a downer. When you’re a kid in elementary school, everyone has a mailbox and everyone gets valentines. No one feels left out. But by the time you reach a certain age, it’s hard to deny that Valentine’s Day is marketed pretty exclusively to your coupled counterparts. The thing is, Valentine’s Day really doesn’t have to belong exclusively to those lovebirds among us. There are many types of love, and I’ve long believed that the love between family and friends is at least as valuable as the romantic variety — even if it isn’t as good at selling chocolate, jewelry and roses.
I’ve never been one to settle for being unhappy about anything — I just don’t see the point if I can choose to be content. This has led me to find a host of ways to make Valentine’s Day palatable as a singleton. One year, a friend of mine and I threw a spa and chocolate party for all our female friends, complete with elegant, hand-made invitations. Everyone brought a dozen of her favorite roses, her favorite spa treatment, dessert and a chick flick, and we spent the night pampering ourselves and enjoying the company of dear friends. In the morning I made crêpes and my signature cocoa, we exchanged bouquets of roses and everyone went home happy.
But as that story implies, most of my high school friends, especially the female ones, were single — like me. Early on someone got the idea for us to band together and thus, Bitter Single Chicks was born. The name is ironic, because none of us was bitter about being single, but saying it always made us laugh, and so it stuck. We made T-shirts and forged traditions, the most popular and lasting of which was eating the Bitter Single Chick chocolate cake every Valentine’s Day.
My friend Courtney was the mother of this wonderful confection — a rich, dense, fantastically satisfying creation that requires about a gallon of milk to accompany it. When we were all still in school together, she would bake it and bring it for us all to share. Courtney is one of the most thoughtful, kind and generous people I’ve ever met, and thus, though we have all scattered around the country for college, she has still kept the tradition alive.
Each year, she bakes the cakes, divides them up, wraps them lovingly and troops down to her local post office to mail them to each of us. For the past four years, I’ve looked forward to that piece of cake as though it was Christmas. It’s not just that it’s delicious and I savor it for days — it’s what the cake represents that makes it truly special. It’s having a friend who, whether she’s in Virginia, New York or California, whether she’s in high school or working toward her doctorate, takes the time and the effort to remind her friends that being single isn’t the same as being unloved.
As soon as the anticipated parcel arrives, I open it immediately and breathe in the heavenly aroma, for the cake is so rich that even aluminum foil and plastic wrap can’t block its scent. The valentine accompanying it is always as sweet as the cake, but I’m sure Courtney will forgive me for saying that the cake makes the bigger impression. It is perfection — there’s no other word for it. And when we encounter delicious food, there are generally two approaches to consumption: Gobble up vast quantities of it, exclaiming its superior taste all the while, or savor each and every bite in rapt, meditative silence, save for the occasional sigh of complete bliss and satisfaction. With Courtney’s cake, one can’t help but choose the latter.
I’m sure by this point, if you love chocolate as much as I do, your mouth is watering for a piece of your own. I can only imagine your disappointment when I say that I can’t share the recipe with you, as it is not something to which I am privy. To be honest, I prefer it that way — if I made Courtney’s cake for myself, it wouldn’t be as special, and I’m sure it wouldn’t taste as sweet, either. I can only hope that in your life you have a friend as dear — and hopefully as inclined to bake.
Sarah’s column runs biweekly Wednesdays. She can be reached at s.brummett@cavalierdaily.com.
Read More
It’s okay not to be okay
By Mai Hukuoka | 6 days agoWhether talking to a friend, a loved one or a professional, it is so necessary, and human, to need more than you can provide for yourself.
Taking a break at Tangerines Kitchen
By Charley Thomas | January 6, 2025What the restaurant somewhat lacks in ambiance, it compensates for in tasty dishes and prompt service.
Virginia Policy Lab — a hub for student-led policy action
By Katherine Haden | December 9, 2024Students propose their own projects and collaborate with other members to research their issues of interest, brainstorm solutions and write policy proposals.
