I was warned about culture shock and the emotional aspect of living in another country for an extended period of time. The International Studies Office even gave me a handy graph in case I didn’t understand the verbal explanation, which was basically: When you’re feeling good, it’s all roses, but when you’re feeling bad, you want to jump off a bridge. I have experienced these ups and downs during my previous travels to South America and Asia, so I felt a bit more prepared to face it than some people in the group who had never been “culture shocked” before. I also thought that spending more than two months in Ecuador — a country that shares a border and many cultural aspects with Peru — when I was in high school would have shielded me from being quite as jolted by the poverty, pollution and crazy driving habits that both countries experience.
But, boy, was I wrong.
My friends and family have turned into psychologists, advising me about all of the experiences I am having, both good and bad. I’m either telling them about the beauty of Peru and feeling confident that my Spanish skills came back to me so quickly after three years of disuse, or I’m frustrated by the machismo culture and my inability to communicate. The old cliché describes it best — this is a roller coaster ride and I’m sitting in the back, unable to see the drops and curves ahead.
I know that this is all part of the decision I made to put myself out there and go somewhere that was not within my comfort zone. But knowing that doesn’t make it much easier. There are only five students in the University of Virginia Program in Peru this semester, and we’ve all been experiencing similar emotions and reactions at the same time. That makes it great for talking to each other and realizing that I’m not alone, but it also means that there are days when we all want to hop on the next plane home. Most recently, problems with my host family resulted in my moving out of the house under the cover of darkness after a big confrontation. Not exactly how I wanted to celebrate the end of my first month in Peru.
It’s difficult to explain culture shock and the effects of the study abroad experience to those who have never gone through the process. Some people avoid discussing some of the more frustrating or negative aspects of being in a foreign country and instead paint a rosy postcard picture where everyone is eating, drinking and being merry. I am still having fun and am excited to be here, but this whole experience seems like one major contradiction after another.
I’m both excited and terrified to be in this place for four more months. In some ways I feel that I’ve been here for months and other times like I just arrived. I’m pleasantly surprised at my ability to communicate with others but frustrated when they don’t understand or assume they won’t just by looking at my pale skin, red hair and freckles. For the most part, I love the people, but I hate being whistled at when walking down the street. I love my classes but don’t feel comfortable participating because I’m afraid no one will understand what I’m trying to say. I want to know Lima better but am annoyed that I can’t walk around freely to explore it because of safety concerns.
This is definitely not a column that will leave you feeling all fuzzy inside, and I’ve decided to stop before this turns into a whiney Alanis Morrisette song about irony and contradictions. It is, however, what I’m experiencing right now and what I think is important to share. This is real — not like “The Real World” type of “real” — and just part of the experience. Although it’s difficult knowing that I’m going to be on this roller coaster for a while still, I know that it will all be worth it in the end. There are definitely life lessons that I am learning, and I still wouldn’t trade this experience for anything. I just wish I had brought my teddy bear with me.
Rachel’s column runs biweekly on Tuesdays. She can be reached at r.gottlieb@cavalierdaily.com
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