I'm at the Grandover Resort in Greensboro, N.C. for the "ACC Football Kickoff," where the entire ACC media has congregated to collectively suck up to every human being who is at least 6 feet, 200 pounds.\nIt's one hell of a spectacle - the media sycophants gather around the superhuman football players and try to imbibe as much of their glory as possible. One reporter tries to befriend Vic Hall by praising his dreadlocks, as if the hairstyle distinguishes him from any other athlete in the room (I count at least four others).\n"That's kind of your trademark, now, isn't it?" the writer asks.\nHall, with great enthusiasm, responds, "Yeah, right now."\nUpdate: He may cut them in the future.\nSo whose presence is felt the most in this room full of top-notch athletes and potential Heisman candidates? It has to be Clemson running back C.J. Spiller, or, more specifically, the life-sized cardboard cutout poster of the player that accompanied the Heisman candidate on his trip to the resort. Naturally, my first impression of this fellow is that he's either a self-aggrandizing prima donna of the likes of Terrell Owens, or he's the real deal, and everyone should know it. Then again, if I entered my senior year just 921 all-purpose yards short of the ACC record, I'd probably carry around another version of me, too.\nBut after listening to him "talk," it turns out the poster has more personality than the real-life human being. It even drew questions from an honorary member of the media.\n"I interviewed the poster," Florida State senior linebacker Dekoda Watson said. Quarterback Christian "Ponder was holdin' the poster up, and I'm sittin' there askin' questions ... he had a nice smile."\nIf Spiller is the conference's most explosive player, Watson may be one of its most fearless. Not only did he have the audacity to stare down and question Spiller's alter-ego, the 226-pound linebacker also took a not-so-subtle shot at Georgia Tech running back Jonathan Dwyer, the 2008 ACC rushing champion and Player of the Year. When asked about Dwyer, Watson replied, "You said who?" Although he played the comment off as a joke, Watson does not appear to be intimidated by the conference's most dynamic offensive players, Spiller included.\nAs for the most bizarre interview session I stumbled upon, the award goes to Willie Young, N.C. State's redshirt graduate defensive end. Young deflected the notion of a rivalry between N.C. State and North Carolina.\n"I don't know anything about those guys over there," he said. "I don't know nothin' about 'em. For real, I just know that we come out and play once a year, try to tear each other's head off, with no sympathy. Other than that - it's balls to the wall - best team - whoever shows up wins the game."\nThis was presented in all seriousness.\nAsked if he ever keeps an eye on what goes on over at Chapel Hill, Young responded with a definitive, "Nahhhh."\nNow, you may have glanced at Virginia's schedule and realized N.C. State isn't on the itinerary. Virginia fans should be thankful for that; I'm not sure we're ready for a "balls to the wall" showdown against this Young character, who apparently has a proclivity for delivering blows to the head with no regard for human life. The Cavaliers may have enough headaches on their plate to deal with already.\nIn other news, Maryland coach Ralph Friedgen apparently lost 95 pounds, down to a solid 306. Five more pounds and he wears a thong in a commercial with Andy Reid.\nAnd I must say, it's not a bad move for coach Reid; if anything will shift the Philadelphia media's attention away from Michael Vick, it's gotta be Reid in a Speedo. But I digress...\nAs much as I hate Maryland, it's hard to not sympathize with Friedgen. A borderline diabetic who flirted with 400 pounds is not someone I normally feel like taunting.\n"I had a daughter that went over to Europe spring semester," Friedgen said. "And of course she came back, and she said, 'I've got a new father.'"\nI can root for a guy like that.\nThe goal of these media days, as I understand it, was to help to determine the shape of the league. The general consensus among the players and coaches was that the ACC is a league of parity, lacking clear front-runners and even bottom-dwellers (there's talk of Duke emerging from the cellar). Thus, left without a clear picture of how the season will unfold, I can only present a select few indisputable facts that came to my attention at the ACC Kickoff.\n1. Wake Forest quarterback Riley Skinner is good at golf.\n2. The fans aren't the only party guilty of arrogance at Clemson.\n3. Virginia has three potential starting quarterbacks. I'm hoping we go with the dreadlocks.
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