Governor Bob McDonnell resolves to reverse the decades-long trend of underfunding Virginia's public colleges, pledging to work with the General Assembly to devote resources to state schools on par with other top public systems, such those in California and North Carolina. We promise this is the only time we will request McDonnell to model any California budgetary decision.
Men's basketball coach Tony Bennett resolves to do everything in his power to impart his best-in-NCAA-history three-point shooting ability to Virginia's players. If he gets that one knocked out early, he might even start wearing ties to away games.
Board of Visitors Chair John O. Wynne resolves to increase the transparency of the presidential search process' last few stages, recognizing that protecting candidates' identities need not result in a complete lockdown on all information.
The Honor Committee resolves to formally examine and amend its intent clause, removing any ambiguity and clarifying the definition for students. Wait - can that type of reform be enacted with 500 signatures on a petition?
Craig Littlepage resolves to hire a coach who can unite the fan base and catapult Virginia football into the national spotlight - or at least the ACC spotlight. Actually, simply beating our in-state rival would be a dramatic improvement from this season. (We're referring, of course, to William & Mary.)
The Spanish department resolves to suspend its major, assuring students that University Career Services has said "Employers really don't care about Spanish majors at all."
Virginia's field hockey, men's soccer and other non-revenue sports' teams resolve to continue to outperform football and men's basketball on a yearly basis. As a corollary, students resolve to attend field hockey and soccer games at least a quarter as often as they attend football and basketball games.
University Unity Project Committee members resolve to move past the "planning" stages of their project by the time summer vacation rolls around.
Dining Services Director Brent Beringer resolves to never again end a sentence with four exclamation points in a University-wide e-mail. That holds especially true for one-word sentences that simply read "Glow Stix!!!!" We love you Brent!
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