Few people at the University know very much about Kathy McGruder, even though most students talk to her several times a week. They smile, exchange pleasantries and then move on in search of lunch.
Kathy McGruder is Newcomb Dining Hall's card swiper extraordinaire and most every student's favorite University employee.
This coming August will mark the nine-year anniversary of McGruder's employment at the University, as well as the nine-year anniversary of her stint in Virginia.
But if you rarely step foot in Newcomb Dining Hall or you are not one of the more than 2,100 members of "The Super-Happy Friendly Lady at Newcomb" Facebook group, you may be wondering, "Who is this lady?"
On the surface, McGruder may be the face of the dining hall as she swipes cards and compliments everyone who enters. With a single wink, she can change even the darkest misanthrope's outlook on life. Her ever-present smile seems extraordinary, but she is quick to dismiss the notion.
"I'm human," she laughed. "You should see me in traffic."
Still, this normal human being makes a bigger difference to University students than she will admit. Take first-year College student Silvia Fuechsel, for instance. As a prospective student, Fuechsel was not sure she wanted to go to a large school such as the University. When she visited Grounds during Days on the Lawn, though, she encountered McGruder and her trademark kindness. Not expecting a warm welcome in such a large place, Fuechsel was surprised by McGruder's friendliness.
"[I thought] if I find a nice person randomly on my first day here, then there's hope; I wasn't just a number to her," Fuechsel said.
Still, everyone knows McGruder is nice, but no one knows who she was before she became Newcomb's Miss Kathy.
Before moving here, to her husband's home state, McGruder and her family lived in Albuquerque, N.M., where she grew up. Her parents were originally from Mississippi but moved to New Mexico when her father transferred with the Air Force. After her parents divorced, her dad moved back to Mississippi, leaving McGruder with her mother and older sister. Her mother was not only in the first graduating class but was also one of the first two black students to graduate from the Technical Vocational Institute, now called Central New Mexico Community College. Following in her mother's footsteps, McGruder later took classes at the same school.
At TVI, she enrolled in several psychology classes, which she said "might be why I like what I do." She was also interested in criminal justice and thought she might want to be a probation officer but eventually shied away from the idea because of the thought that she would have to run down alleys chasing offenders, she said.
During her childhood, she also entertained the thought of being a police officer or firefighter and even had specific goals about the type of house and family she wanted.
"I wanted the white picket fence, [to be a] housewife," McGruder said. "I thought, 'When I have a son, I'm going to name him Kevin.'"
She may not be a firefighter or police officer, but of her three children - aged 17, 20 and 22 - she does have a son named Kevin, as well as a husband she met through mutual friends in 1984. They were both 24, and she remembers thinking that he was "a baby" for being seven months her junior.
At first, the attraction was not mutual, but he was persistent, and eventually, she gave in.
"I think it was his bowed legs," she said with a shrug.
The couple's oldest son is a Virginia Commonwealth University alum, their daughter has a job and their youngest son is about to graduate high school.
The thought of that she will soon have an empty nest saddens McGruder, but it is not the first time she has seen a child move on.
"I cry every year in May when kids graduate," she said.
Years ago, though, McGruder was in a similar period of transition. At first, she worked as a cashier at Smith's, Kroger's sister grocery store. Not satisfied with her job, she called on some family and friend connections and trained to be a cardiology technologist. McGruder, in her laidback manner, said her job was "very easy ... [it's about] being able to see rhythms in the heart."
From dreaming of being a probation officer to reading electrocardiograms, McGuder spent many years figuring herself out, but one thing she always has been sure of is her passion for the Dave Matthews Band, whose members are all "excellent musicians in their own right," she said.\nCounting on her fingers, McGruder smiled. She has been backstage six times - twice in Colorado and four times in New Mexico - because her husband knows band members and Charlottesville residents Carter Beauford and Boyd Tinsley. She said the "best concert ever" was a July 4 celebration at the Red Rocks Amphitheatre in Colorado. As McGruder and her husband stood in the crowd, feeling out of place in an unfamiliar setting, the band came on stage. Pointing to his friends from back home, Beauford shouted, "McGruder, you ready to rock?"
Whether she is standing out in a Colorado crowd or smiling at every kid in Newcomb, people feel McGruder's presence.
First-year College student Ryan Smith said she is one of the bright spots during the sometimes monotonously long college work weeks. He recalled one day when he told McGruder she had a Facebook group, and she smiled and replied, "There should be a group about you."
Fuechsel and Smith are both members of McGruder's Facebook group, "The Super-Happy Friendly Lady at Newcomb."
This super-happy lady seems to help a lot of people get through tough days. When asked what gets her through her own tough days, McGruder did not hesitate with her reply.
"Your faces - the student body here at U.Va, suga'," she said. "I'm proud of all of you ... My hat is off to you."
McGruder's ability to take life as it comes and welcome students unconditionally might have something to do with her faith.
"God is the bomb ... He is the truest foundation that I've ever experienced in my life," she said.
This foundation has been there for her since she was a young girl, as she attended church and Sunday school every week, sang in the choir and attended Mission Albuquerque, a vacation bible school, she said.
Now, she unconditionally accepts all students because "I know how I would like my children to be treated," she said.
In the same vein, she advises everyone to "love yourselves, believe in yourselves, because if you don't, no one else will."
Of course, if you have trouble finding that smile in yourself, Miss Kathy is there to help you out.
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