The infamous holiday that drains the pockets of many men around the world has come and gone. You may be singing "That's Amore" by the charming Dean Martin, or perhaps Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" is more appropriate. Maybe you're dancing down the street with the clouds at your feet, or you're fuming about the dent in your wallet thanks to that holiday that Hallmark loves. There's a chance you danced to some of the best songs ever written in the arms of your loved one as he sang to you, or maybe you sat in your dorm watching chick flicks like "The Notebook," "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" or "Dirty Dancing" with all of your suitemates as you splurged using your Plus Dollars on Ben & Jerry's Phish Food Frozen Yogurt. Regardless of how you spent this past Valentine's Day, John Leguizamo's character in "Moulin Rouge!" was strikingly wise: "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." Some may be skeptical of this insight, but listen up bitter Bettys and sad Sallys, because that advice should be taken to heart.
I realize it's super cheesy, but it's completely true. Whether your relationship status on Facebook is "in a relationship," "single" or "complicated," someone loves you even if you don't think so. Learning to love and to accept that love, despite its origin, can be tricky. Nobody is happy to admit that his stand-in valentine is his little sister instead of a significant other, or his mother instead of the girl of his dreams. That may seem pathetic, but it isn't, because someone loves that kid, even if he is an emotional roller coaster.
Valentine's Day is a reminder to recognize the ones you love, no matter who they may be. That doesn't necessarily mean your boy or girlfriend. Most people associate love and Valentine's Day with cards, candy and flowers from better halves. Advertisements make this misconception look like the truth so stores can reel in last-minute shoppers for the "lowest prices in town." But overemphasizing that is a rookie mistake - love knows no limits. Why restrict your experience of reciprocal loving to Feb. 14 and material gifts?
Being bitter about not having a boy/girlfriend is perfectly understandable when couples are prancing about, flaunting flowers as they gaze into each others' eyes. As much as that may perturb you, take a step back and imagine you were a member of that love-fest. You're happy, right? Giddy even. You can imagine being that jovial - even without someone to give you all that candy or a gorgeous rose bouquet. After imagining that, you can go back to moping. Keep in mind, learning to love and love in return will wipe your salty tears away - as long as you attempt to accept it.
Cher followed the Bohemian way when she posed the question, "Do you believe in life after love?" Of course she was referring to her spouse, but we are all strong enough to live without someone to buy us flowers on V-Day. We are surrounded by love continuously, in fact. Those hallmates who vented to you until 4 a.m. while they wiped their runny noses on your hoodie love you - in that manly, friendly sort of way. Your friends and family may not profess their love as often as a couple might, but that doesn't mean they don't love you just as much, if not more.
Those of you who have already learned to be loved romantically and have mastered loving in return should appreciate the one you want to grow old with daily, not just once a year. Reminding him/her every now and then is always appreciated. Knowing that someone, no matter who it is, loves you never gets old.
Whether you've found the one who will pick your nose for you or you're "caught in a bad romance," you do still have love in your life. Students of the greatest lesson in life should have an experience just like U.Va. students - they never become "seniors," in reference to their coming graduations, but they are instead known as fourth-year students because they never stop learning. Next V-Day, if you haven't had the pleasure already, add "Moulin Rouge!" to your Netflix queue to truly attain the knowledge presented in this eye-opening film. It will lead you to realize love is essential to living. The type of love you "major" in while studying this lifetime lesson is trivial. You must remember, however, the greatest thing you'll ever learn isn't the formula of dolomite or which composer introduced the sonata but simply to "love and love in return."
Mary's column runs biweekly Fridays. She can be reached at m.bruno@cavalierdaily.com
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