Chivalry is dead. This phrase usually carries a negative connotation as men are becoming less and less knightly in their conduct. On the other hand, this saying can also represent the progress that women's rights have made since the Dark Ages and the fact that some men are now more fully aware of this progress.
Usually, it is not worth the effort to argue against the belief that men have grown increasingly lazy. I could leave it at that, but that would only further this misconception. Men still perform the minimal tasks that would be considered chivalrous today. Most male students still hold doors for people behind them and still pay for the entire check on dates.
Admittedly, there are many aspects of chivalry which have been lost. We do not stand when a lady enters a room, we seldom offer help to strangers we pass, and we surely do not carry books to class for our female counterparts. But is all this really the death of chivalry or just a modern-day revision?
An example of a chivalrous act that should gradually disappear is the tradition of asking a father's blessing for his daughter's hand in marriage. Some claim that the origin of this tradition dates back to the times when marriage was a business proposal between the groom and the bride's father, essentially belittling the woman to a bargaining chip. In modern times, one could interpret a father's blessing as what the father sees fit for a daughter not wise enough to make the correct decision on her own. In either case, the agreement is first made between the man and the father, instead of then between the man and the woman. With this in mind, is it really disrespectful if men put the woman first and propose before asking the father? It might be more disrespectful if a man were to blindly follow the tradition.
There are also everyday, minor, opportunities for chivalry that are intentionally glossed over. For instance, you can be sure to see female students standing on a crowded bus while there are many male students sitting down. Although the days of high school lockers are far gone, it was rare - and surely now it is still rare - for a guy to carry his girlfriend's books to her class. Are these examples of men being impolite and apathetic, or is there some reason behind this?
The answer is that most men do not define honor or proper behavior by these simple actions. Times have changed and there are new standards now and these old customs are not part of them.\nOne example of how times have changed is the fact that women now comprise a greater percentage of the workforce; female employment has increased drastically in manual labor and dangerous jobs that were once only given to men. Anecdotally, it seems as if female involvement in the ROTC programs is increasing by the day. The media has also downplayed the role of the passive and polite Mrs. Cleaver persona in favor for more assertive female characters like Sandra Bullock's Oscar-winning portrayal of Leigh Anne Tuohy. Those are just two examples of how the role and perception of women in our society have changed in the past few decades, let alone the rights that are now standard but had to be fought for, such as the right to vote. Women are no longer the lonely princesses in waiting of their knights in shining armor. Now they are strong and independent Fionas working as equals alongside their socially awkward Shreks.
However, there are still guys who will do anything for their damsel in distress. There are also some men who see a girl walk onto the bus and fail to offer up their seat because they do not perceive an immediate reward of sex in return for their actions.
There is also a third class of gentlemen that understand that a lady does not always need to be protected and sheltered by a male figure. These gentlemen extend the same courtesy to women that they would for anyone else, such as holding a door, without going overboard with chauvinistic gestures, like texting a girl every five minutes to make sure that she is okay. These men subscribe to a new definition of chivalry. They believe that women should be given enough room to be independent but would still occasionally like to get the royal treatment. I would include myself into this group, but who knows what women want?
Hung Vu's column appears Tuesdays. He can be reached at h.vu@cavalierdaily.com.
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