There are certain things I expect when I go to a party. To be confused immediately upon entering is one. It should be at least 10 degrees warmer than it is outside, smell faintly of stale beer, vom and shamelessness. At some point during the night, LMFAO's "Shots" should be played. If I get to a party and it smells like flowers or it's a comfortable temperature, I'm leaving. That is no place I want to be. If I get to a party and "Shots" has not been played by the end of the night, someone will get punched. I can only take so much.
I haven't words enough to describe the sheer genius of this song. The lyrics are diverse and challenge your thoughts about life. OK, those are obvious lies. Everyone knows that, excluding anything done by Creed, "Shots" is one of the worst songs ever written. If you're looking for depth, you will be sorely disappointed. But that does not mean you shouldn't love it. This song, like so many before it, is technically terrible but actually magnificent. If you're not happy to hear this or other crappy but ultimately catchy songs, you are not human. You do not belong. And you should just do us all a favor and drop out of college.
I have always had a little trouble letting go. I still have jeans I haven't been able to fit into since the ninth grade. I'm also incapable of returning library books on time, and since January, I have already incurred almost $40 worth of fines. And I still have the same best friend that I had six years ago. I don't know what that's about because she is definitely not on my level.
A few seconds ago, I said I have trouble letting go. That was true, but only about the examples I mentioned above. I'm not sure why I felt the need to lie to you just then. Historically, I've been pretty fickle when it comes to songs and my devotion to fitness - which is, FYI, non-existent. I profess my love of "Shots" this week, but next week, I'll probably be over it and outraged that some other song isn't being played from speakers everywhere I go. But alas, this is the life of a song.
A song's life is a complicated one, as it goes through many stages. The first stage is the "eh" stage. This is when it first starts playing on the radio and people are kind of into it, but not really. There's nothing on the other stations, and it's bearable. Next is the, "this-song-plays-twice-every-hour-so-now-I'm-forced-to-like-it" stage. The song is played so many times that your options are now: a) learn to like it or b) end your life.
The third stage is everyone's favorite. The "this-song-is-so-great-that-I-scream-'yeahhhh'-and-just-about-wet-myself-whenever-it-comes-on" stage. So good. I wish every song started and ended at this point. The pure elation when you hear this song makes up for how suicidal you felt at the beginning of stage two. It's obnoxiously loud all the time, you're singing, you look crazy, people think you're a psycho, but it doesn't matter because this song is so freaking great!
But alas, after this magnificent stage, our beloved song starts its slide into a pit of despair and into the fourth stage. The "violent reaction" stage. Maybe you think "violent reaction" is an exaggeration, but you would be wrong, friend. This stage is dangerous.
The transition between stages three and four happens very quickly. If you blink, you'll miss it. But it comes somewhere around the 100th and 101st time you've heard the song. The musical experience has passed the point of annoyance, and now, it just inspires anger in you. You growl, "I cannot believe they are still playing this song!" while you frantically look down at your car radio to change the channel using the buttons, which somehow have all suddenly gotten smaller, making it more difficult for you to find something else, making you even angrier. Because of your growing rage, you start driving recklessly and end up careening off the road and into a ditch. All because of this song you once loved being in stage four. I told you it was serious.
The final stage is the "comeback"
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