Four years ago - acceptance letter in hand - I anticipated all I would learn in college, all the changes I would undergo. Personally, I don't feel that I've fundamentally changed during my four years, but I have undoubtedly learned some lessons along the way. They just weren't the lessons I was expecting.
Of course, I have gained knowledge - much of it useless - in my classes. I can confidently say I can do a discounted cash flow statement and read a novel in French - both skills that will obviously be used daily for the rest of my life. But more importantly, college taught me all of the adages so prevalent in literature, film and public discourse, the ones imparted upon us at a young age, are completely flawed.
Foremost, college completely refutes the saying, "there's no such thing as a free lunch." In fact, it is my personal belief you can have a free lunch - and dinner - every day of the week. Every club and cultural event offers free food to lure students to attend, ranging from your average Domino's to more lavish offerings, such as Arch's frozen yogurt. The past week alone, I got a free sandwich and a mimosa at a fourth-year picnic-barbecue on the Lawn for Casteen's retirement, as well as cake between classes for Israel Day. This week promises sundaes in the Commerce School and fourth-year beer tasting free of charge. You can virtually eat for free by optimizing a meal swipe. I am notorious for stuffing my backpack with fruit from a dining hall and sometimes bring a Nalgene to fill with peanut butter, ice milk or whatever else my apartment may lack. Finally, word on the street is that if you go to Christian's at closing, you can sometimes get two slices for the price of one. It's a true misfortune that I only heard this rumor this week.
Another adage that college has proved incorrect is the classic "haste makes waste." During my years at the University, I have learned speed and efficiency are some of the most important skills in life. You have to finish your paper by the due date. You have to complete your exam in three hours. You have to get through your readings efficiently if you want to make it out to Sunday Funday. Face it: Life is dictated by deadlines and schedules. A friend summed up the value of speed for me perfectly this week, saying, "The beer bong is the best invention since the wheel. It just gets the job done. That's efficiency right there."
Evidently, haste does not create waste; quite the contrary, it's ineffectiveness that leads to wasting the night away in Clemons, missing more appealing opportunities.
Our parents and teachers also have told us throughout our lives to "never judge a book by its cover." College has proven this adage to be fundamentally incorrect. I wholeheartedly believe a cover is a perfect indicator of value. To be frank, though colleges preach diversity, we are usually friends with people most like ourselves. This reality is evidenced by friends often wearing similar clothes - a group of girls in sundresses and aviators and participating in similar activities and a bunch of dudes in tube socks playing basketball at Memorial Gymnasium. Currently, I am wearing my friend's shirt and would venture to say she is in one of mine. Academically, the saying is also false. I can always tell whether I will like a course from the very first day. If you're twiddling your thumbs within five minutes of Lecture Number One, get on SIS and drop that class immediately.
Finally, college has shown me the proverb, "you're never too old to learn," is definitely invalid. During my first three years, I was the avid learner, taking copious notes during lectures. In my final year, however, I have begun to notice my notebooks are filled with doodles or worse - blank pages. The learning curve starts off steep but dwindles with time. I'm not sure whether it's senioritis, complacency or some other inane rationale, but at the ripe age of 21, I feel past my learning prime.
It is here that I leave you. I have enjoyed spouting my thoughts and perceptions - sometimes deemed drivel - during the past two years. But I hope now you have realized the most important college lesson of all: You expect to change but instead you will simply understand that many common maxims such as this idea of change and personal growth are essentially unsound. Of course, you will learn mundane academic lessons, such as the history of Red China or how to graph the second derivative, but those are relatively minor in the grand scheme of things. Granted, college also teaches us valuable social lessons. I have learned you can meet close friends where you least expect to, whether that be a Student Council meeting, Saturday morning 5K or, in my case, a beach at Cabo during Spring Break. You also will gain a taste for the finer things in life; I have yet to acquire a fondness of wine, but I have learned to enjoy an ice cold Kroger brand Beer 30 Lite. In short, you will learn, just not what you thought you would. But that's just my two cents - take it or leave it.
Abby's column runs biweekly Fridays. She can be reached at a.coster@cavalierdaily.com.
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