I owe it all to James Van Der Beek. I admit that I am one of those pathetic girls who used to sit at home for hours just to watch a marathon of "Dawson's Creek." So it should be no surprise that one fateful summer afternoon I would watch MTV's "When I Was Seventeen" just to get a glimpse into the former heartthrob's life as a teenager. What I didn't know at the time is that the same episode would vastly change my perspective about pop culture.
You see, I may have started the episode for Dawson, but I finished it for Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi. Somewhere between the infamous poof's origins and her dreams for finding the ideal guido husband I found myself wanting to know more. It was then that I saw my very first "Jersey Shore" episode. And before I knew it, I watched my second, third and soon I was halfway through the first season. I couldn't believe it. I had finally been sucked into the "Jersey Shore" craze. I became a fan.
Up until that moment, I never had any intention of watching the show. Why? Because "Jersey Shore" used to be one of those trends that I didn't understand, like Silly Bandz or jeggings. I mean, what was so great about a bunch of arrogant, greasy, self-proclaimed guidos who do nothing but make themselves look like fools on TV? I couldn't understand. Maybe it was because I was too wrapped up in my own business to bother turning on a TV. Maybe it's because I don't like to tan. But that isn't the point. That was all then. I finally get it, and I will defend its unrelenting brilliance to anyone who dares question it.
The way I see it, there are three major reasons why everyone should surrender to the Shore's alluring pull. No. 1: Because there is nothing better than watching a bunch of arrogant, self-proclaimed guidos make themselves look like absolute fools. The characters of a show either make it or break it. That is certainly true for "Jersey Shore." The show's beauty is in how unbelievably absurd these people can be. I mean probably the only thing more ridiculous than this group of eight is the fact that Justin Bieber wrote a memoir that is being made into a 3-D biopic. Between endlessly intertwined hook-ups, a couple who fights about everything from a Fred Flinstone-sized big toe to questionable domestic abuse and vocabulary that spans from "grenades" to "creeping" to the ever-popular "G.T.L.," what isn't there to love? And if that entire list still isn't enough to spark your curiosity, let me just say two things that will certainly change your mind: fist pumping.
Now it seems natural to wonder why anyone would ever waste their time on such seemingly bleak nonsense. I know I used to. Where's the value in it all? That brings me to my second reason: "Jersey Shore" emphasizes some of life's most important lessons. For example, it is never acceptable for a man to raise a hand to a woman, even when she drunkenly throws a backhanded punch at your face. Respect everything around you, including animals. Animals are alive when you kill them. Did you ever think of that before biting into a juicy lobster? Snooki did and so should we all. Now, before you insist that there is absolutely no educational value in "Jersey Shore," let me leave you with one more pearl of wisdom from Snooki herself: "Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning. I feel like he did that intentionally for us. McCain would never put a 10 percent tax on tanning, because he's pale and he would probably want to be tan." Yes, America, even guidos care about politics.
But of course the third and best reason to watch this show is simple: because it's real. If you ask me, the only things that are fake on that show are the tans and probably JWoww's ... Well, let's just call them qualities. In fact, the cast has said several times that they aren't trying to fit into a certain stereotype. The reality is that they just are that ridiculous and foolish. That one simple truth just makes it all the more satisfying to watch. I mean, what a concept - a reality show that is actually real. MTV, I want to personally apologize for ever doubting your abilities - although, you can't really blame me after watching "The Hills."
More than anything else you just have to respect their "Ima do me" attitude toward life. They don't care what anyone thinks of them. And why should they? They are exactly who God, their mamas, a good barber, a few weights, a trusty Laundromat and several bottles of spray tan made them to be. And I will be the first to admit that I was wrong. I apologize to all those die-hard fans who since the beginning insisted that I pick up my remote. I have come full circle and am the other side now. To everyone else, come join us on the Shore. It's quite an enlightening place to be. I can tell you from personal experience you shouldn't knock it until you've tried it.
Alyssa can be reached at a.juan@cavalierdaily.com.
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