I think pretty much every guy at one point has felt the sting of embarrassment from a seemingly harmless action that appears to others as just a little girly. The number of things that can make young men feel effeminate and slightly embarrassed are definitely far more numerous than they need to be. I work at Arch's, where guys show obvious embarrassment when they ask for the Wow Cow flavors and sometimes even ask if other guys ask about them, too. I suppose they're after safety in numbers, but men don't want to get fat any more than women do, so why is it embarrassing to go for the low calorie option?
I even feel a little effeminate when I tell people that I'm a vegetarian, as if I can only be a real man if I can devour a 16-ounce steak then beg for more or act like the men glorified in Hardee's commercials. I'm just like, super sensitive and heart animals, but that doesn't make me a "fairy princess," as my ex-Army / police officer / recreational rugby player dad all too often calls me. One of my friends took weeks mustering up the courage to order a fruity-sounding bagel from Bodo's (lox, cucumber, dill and cream cheese) for similar reasons.
Recently, I was picking up a course packet for my friend for her Feminist Theory class. After asking for the course packet ("You know, the one with the pink cover.") and most likely twirling my hair for some reason (maybe trying to stay in character), I immediately felt as if some testosterone had disappeared from my body. I can only guess that clearly, as a man, I shouldn't be interested in studying an important literary theory.
I have my feminine tendencies and am rapidly becoming less ashamed of them. I'm proud that my walls, carpet and floral couch all match exquisitely. And I shouldn't be embarrassed that I went to about a million stores looking for that perfect rug and turned down several "almost" good-enoughs. I like my vodka flavored, and of all the flavors, pomegranate tickles my inebriated taste buds the most. Don't knock it until you've tried it. I keep almost no junk food in my room to avoid the inevitable snacking and possible weight gain. Every now and then, I enjoy some B. Spears, and I spent part of the summer watching three-hour mini-marathons of "Desperate Housewives" on Lifetime. I have learned to brush off the strange looks I always get when I tell people. It's a really good show, Eva Longoria is sexy and I have a little thing for Marcia Cross's character, strange as that sounds.
Anyway, my point is that college students live so many aspects of their lives in an epicurean manner: If you're hungry, eat whatever. If you want to drink, go get drunk! (And the 9 a.m. will survive without you). Want a little buzz? Smoke a cig. Want a better buzz? Smoke some weed. If I want a nap and I'm in a library, the Clemons booth will become my bed. We (generally) don't deny ourselves pleasure in most circumstances, so why deny ourselves when it comes to traditional gender boundaries? The "Desperate Housewives" playing on Lifetime makes me happier than anything playing on Spike TV or ESPN or any other "masculine" channel. If I want to drink my pomegranate vodka while listening to "Toxic" and admiring the perfection of my impeccably decorated room, I can't imagine anything more college, epicurean and/or masculine. So if you ever think that you'll look girly doing this, or effeminate doing that, think about all the other poor decisions you make to increase your happiness, and why take anything else into consideration?
Ian's column runs biweekly Fridays. He can be reached at i.flatt@cavalierdaily.com.
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