U.Va. is a courteous place. Whether you've been here for three weeks or three years, you've probably already seen numerous examples of students going out of their ways to lend helping hands. Maybe the courteousness was introduced by the traditional Southern gentleman. Or perhaps we can trace the University's niceness from the time of its founding by Thomas Jefferson. He gets credit for everything, though, so let's attribute students' own courtesy to their characters and manners.
I realized U.Va. was a courteous place the moment I stepped on Grounds for Days on the Lawn. We had arrived late because my sister had trouble waking up to her alarm clock and because my dad drove at 50 miles per hour when the posted speed limit was 55 and everyone else was doing 70. I was annoyed with my sister because it was her job to wake herself up, and demanded to know how she was going to get to class in college when she wouldn't have her parents to wake her up every morning. My mom was exasperated with "your father," the term for him when he's in trouble. She explained 55 miles per hour means that you have to drive at least 55 miles per hour, while he argued the posted sign says, "Maximum Speed: 55 M.P.H." and driving any faster than 55 would be dangerous and did she want to put her children in danger? We all knew my mom was right, but who could argue with my dad's logic? So anyway, here we were at U.Va., short of time and patience and direction but full of angry words to throw at each other while we argued about the location of the Lawn. A University student right behind us realized our situation and stopped to give us directions, even though doing so meant he then had to wait for another rotation of the light to cross the street.
When I finally came to Grounds as a first-year student, the courteousness of the University's student body was still apparent. Students asked if I needed directions when they saw me fumbling with a map. Others held the door for me, even if I was still 15 feet away. I never left a bus without hearing a chorus of "thank-yous" for the bus driver. Students shook my hand when they met me - perhaps a sign that we all were now mature young adults - but it still struck me as yet another example of the courtesy at Virginia.
At the football game last weekend, a guy accidentally spilled his entire glass of beer on my friend who happened to be wearing a dress in honor of the first home game. The guy apologized profusely, offered to pay for dry cleaning and even suggested he buy her dinner. Although it's not so pleasant to have to sit through the second half of a football game reeking of alcohol, the courteousness of the guy almost made up for the beer-stained dress.
My point is that courteousness is part of the University of Virginia identity. Furthermore, it's up to us as students to uphold this fine tradition. So the next time you get the chance, hold open the door for the guy behind you, say thank you to the bus driver and give directions to tourists or lost first-year students. And if you ever spill beer on a girl, whether at a football game or a fraternity party, offer to pay for dry cleaning.
Sheila's column runs biweekly Fridays. She can be reached at
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