Question: If all of your friends jumped off a bridge would you jump too?\nAnswer: How high is the bridge in question?
At the ripe old age of 20, I have been an adult, at least in the legal sense, for about two years now. Every year I age I notice I care a little less about what other people think about me. I am less shy about saying what's on my mind - although to be honest I was never exactly meek as a child - and I am far and away past the need to have everyone like me.
Part of this is definitely the result of a change in environment. In high school, it is much more difficult to get by with these types of personality traits because you have to see the same people every day and you are trapped in enclosed classrooms with them for long periods of time. In that kind of environment, it is more important you and Susie Q. at least pretend to get along to avoid Mean Girls-like jungle scenes.
At a college this size though, the rules are different. You only have to see people you want to on a regular basis. There is no pressure to be friends with everybody because it's simply not possible.
Also, when you do come across people you don't particularly care for, there is no need to pretend that you do care. It's unlikely that you will ever be sandwiched into a small classroom with that person for hours on end, and there is no pressure to get along because you will not have to participate in all the same small-scale social events like you did in high school.
What about the people whose opinions do matter, though? Certainly the pressure to please everyone decreases as we get older, but what about the pressure to please our friends? Even when we get to pick and choose our peers, does peer pressure ever really go away?
I think not. When your friend looks at you with big puppy eyes and says, "I'm having a really bad day - come out with me tonight to help take my mind off it," it is pretty hard to say no.
So you say yes, even though you are tired, short on cash and have a column due in the morning with no idea what you are going to write about - just as a general example, I mean.
You give way to pressure because you want to make your friend happy and because he knows just what to say to tempt you into ignoring that menacingly blank Microsoft Word document for one more day. This is probably a decision you will regret in the morning, but for the moment, you are pleasing everybody, so you don't think about the consequences.
I'm not sure that the influence of this type of peer pressure ever goes away, but I do think we develop a higher threshold for it as we mature. I may not be able to refuse when I only have a reasonable amount of homework the next day, but when serious papers and tests are looming, it becomes much easier to form the big N-O. Clearly, there is a point when personal responsibility trumps the pressure of friends, and the more we mature, the easier it becomes to reach that point.
So these days, while I might still jump off a bridge if all of my friends are doing it, I'm going to pause and look down first to see if the end result means a refreshing splash or an unpleasant splat for me.\n\nKatie's column runs every Tuesday. She can be reached at k.mcnally@cavalierdaily.com.
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