There are few things more American than the proud way we celebrate a national holiday centered on eating - or rather, overeating - platefuls of turkey, stuffing and pie. And there are few things more capitalist than the way we finish eating, go to sleep and wake up five hours later to stand in line at a retail store so that we may strong-arm our way through a frenzy of consumers and return home with fistfuls of discounted clothing and electronics that - more than likely - we never needed anyway.
Those of us who have been lucky enough to participate in - and survive - the anarchy that is Black Friday, know first-hand, the mayhem that ensues on this day. Ultimately, no good can come from taking a mob of eager, over-caffeinated deal-seekers and throwing them into a pit of cheap televisions, computers and winter coats. The result is natural selection at its finest, and only the most dedicated and most aggressive shoppers prevail.
My first and last Black Friday experience was two years ago. Determined to get a head start on my Christmas shopping and to pick up a thing or two for myself, I decided it was a smart idea to visit the local Macy's in the wee hours of the morning to take advantage of all the markdowns.
After a three-hour power nap, I rose before the sun, brewed a pot of coffee, picked up my best friend and headed for the mall. Little did I know, however, that the level of preparation by other shoppers that morning was far beyond anything I had dreamt. The scene of people with lawn chairs and snack bags - in the event that they might be in line so long that they would not only need to sit down, but also take a break for food and water - was shocking. Around me, the hodgepodge of soccer moms, retirees and teens stood in sneakers and layer-upon-layer of clothing, anxiously anticipating the store's opening.
Even now, I remember emerging from the mall that day exhausted. As far as the discounts were concerned, I had to admit, Black Friday delivered. The shopping trip, however, proved more trouble than it was worth.
So this year, as my sister, aunt and grandfather planned to meet at Walmart at 4 a.m. to get laptops and flat-screen TVs, I opted out of Black Friday shopping. There was no way I was about to stand outside, in the rain, in the middle of the night, waiting in a line of people resolving to trample or be trampled. Although my aunt insisted that the process would be more organized and more civilized than the news had shown it to be in years past, I thought it unnecessary to take the risk that it would be even worse.
Plus, this is 2010. Why would I possibly go out to the stores on the busiest shopping day of the year when I can shop for the same deals online, from the warmth and comfort of my own bed? Without the burden of even having to wait for Cyber Monday, I found it entirely too convenient to shop for Black Friday discounts on my computer.
It appears that people across the country came to a similar conclusion, as many decided to stay home this past weekend. The Los Angeles Times reported that an estimated 212 million shoppers visited stores and websites this past weekend in search of holiday deals - up from 195 million during the same weekend last year. Americans' total spending reached an estimated $45 billion, according to the article.
So while normally, I'm all for having the experience of going to a store and picking out items in person, I have to say, braving the crowds and early morning openings of Black Friday shopping simply paled in comparison to the luxury and relaxation of online shopping. There were no lines, no crowds, no cold or inclement weather to endure. No more was required of me than the effort it took to click and drag items into a virtual shopping cart, enter my credit card information and wait patiently for delivery of discounted items to my doorstep - the model of laziness. Now that's the American way.
Stephanie's column runs biweekly Tuesdays. She can be reached at s.waties@cavalierdaily.com.