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The reality of reality

I don't know what real is. Is it that which is actually experienced or seen or known? This question gets really messy, really quickly.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, reality is "the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them." But in light of the influence of mass media and networks that shape our views about what we might call reality, everything I know of current events is filtered through the scope of someone else, someone creating a "notional idea" of the state of things.\nSo what is real?

Contrary to popular - or more appropriately, pop cultural - belief, reality TV is not real. It claims to be, with misnomers like "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" - I wonder what actual housewives of Atlanta would have to say about it - and yet it fails to live up to its name.

I'll come right out and say it: I hate reality TV - not because I dislike watching other people play out their lives of polygamy or hyper-fertility in front of a camera. That's utterly fascinating, to be honest. But it isn't real. Reality TV has marred our perception of the real in ways that I cannot adequately explain. It creates this weird pseudo-reality that has become remarkably important and somehow relevant to life in spite of its scriptedness and tendency to ignore real social concerns.

It is also not the news, although I feel confident that an embarrassingly large amount of young adults would be more apt to tell you who was on Jay Leno's "The Tonight Show" last night than what is happening in the world. Not that Leno's guests aren't important, but the news, no matter how depressing or boring or mundane - whatever word you have pegged to it - is also important. As a side note, I acknowledge a small contradiction in my argument, seeing that you are reading the newspaper and all. But I'm not sure how far your contemplation of the news or current events extends. I can only base it on my own meager understanding paired with the level of awareness I have observed among my peers.

Admittedly, my own sense of reality is severely skewed. In part because I am in school and exist in what is lovingly referred to as "not the real world," and in part because I am a product of my time. I would fight my apathy, except I just don't care.

It is this kind of pervasive apathy that has caused us to forget what is important, to cloud our already cluttered minds with, dare I say it, trash. We are, by and large, pop-culturally proficient - some of us excellent - yet we are all-too-often absent-minded when it comes to real social issues. These are sweeping generalizations, but I feel pretty comfortable making them. Generalizing has always been a strength of mine.

The bottom line is that more students probably know the names of all 800 Duggar children than how many U.S. troops are still stationed in Iraq. We're fighting a two-front war, and we've grown apathetic to loss and normalized death. We've grown detached from it all. I, too, am guilty.

The cold, hard truth is that gossip about celebrities and ordinary or extraordinary individuals who have overwhelmed our popular culture have become more important than actual, relevant news - about our service members fighting that two-front war. A friend of mine recently asked me. "I wonder if people still know we have 50,000 troops in Iraq - troops that carry guns, that get shot at, that are targeted by roadside bombers?" We have forgotten - or we never cared.

Television isn't the only thing to blame. It has just become my target of choice because of a lack of space.

While reflecting about Veterans Day, it came to me that many of us only remember our veterans because our calendar tells us to, the same way it tells us to plant a tree or to remember the day an Italian guy came to this hemisphere and said, "Surprise, I'm home," or to change our clocks because we can control time. Not that holidays are bad. I consider my birthday to be an international holiday. But when we celebrate something out of societal compulsion rather than individual desire, things get messy. And really false.

Perhaps my dislike of organized holidays isn't quite valid. Maybe my cynicism should go take a vacation with its close friend Debbie Downer and let me enjoy life for a bit. But I can't quite shake the feeling that forcible remembrance isn't genuine. I wish everyone would feel compelled to remember because of something in the human spirit, because a part of them ached and owed homage to those who have forfeited their present and future for ours.

I would tell you to go thank a veteran, to remember that a two-front war is being fought every day, whether you support it or not. But that's not the point.

I'm just afraid that we are forgetting. Because according to some, "The Real World" is actually the real world, and war doesn't exist.

Kathleen's column runs biweekly Mondays. She can be reached at k.baines@cavalierdaily.com.

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