I made a vision board this summer. Yes, one of those things you've seen on "Oprah." For those of you who don't watch "Oprah" or read Woman's Day advice columns, a vision board is a board plastered with photos and quotes that inspire you and hold the key to your future desires.
I didn't really think it was a good idea when I made it; I was just bored. I saw several quotes on the top of ads for dog food and air fresheners that I thought were pretty clever and that I wanted to remember. I had a TV tray I wanted to decorate. Deep down, I think I was tapping into my lazy core and hoping that this whole thinking and wishing really hard thing would make all my dreams come true.
An update on my dreams coming true - none of them actually have. Most of the pictures I glued on the table were of faraway locations. My ever-growing desire to leave the country and head for somewhere other than the beach - my mother's insistence that Caribbean vacations are fun but not so scholarly - has yet to be sated. I'm still looking up study abroad opportunities but no easy, foolproof plans have fallen in my lap. I thought that was what was supposed to happen. I wished really hard for this faraway location, and then I forgot about it and then it was supposed to appear before me.
My mother and I recently got into an argument about this. When I was working on my vision board, I was feeling bad for myself - I'd thought so hard: "Poor me, poor me" that I started crying and asked my mom why she wasn't leaping at the chance to fund a trip overseas for me. After all, my parents' money brings opportunity that should automatically appear before me. And my mother's friend was there and she asked me, "Where do you want to go?" I hesitated and choked out, "Anywhere!"
The Woman's Day advice column left out a pretty important piece of advice - define your dreams. I have no idea where I want to go; I just want to go. I'm surrounded by people who know what they want to do with their lives and I just want to join the club. I want to burn with a desire to save people in Haiti. I want it to be my life's goal to study in the Parthenon or somewhere else ancient.\nOf course, I know this isn't really rational. And yes, I'm getting to the point where it's OK to not have grandiose dreams.
It has been four months since I glued words and pictures on a TV tray. Since then I have received papers that tell me my writing is "ambitious;" I have stayed up until 5 a.m. talking to almost complete strangers in a friend's apartment; I have dressed up as the Queen of Hearts, a scary twin from The Shining and Harry Potter's golden snitch. I have even taken a tai chi class. These were not the vague ideas of dreams I splattered on my TV tray. Yet, they mean a lot more to me now than the quotes and pictures that have yet to form a plane ticket.
One quote on my board reads, "Maybe there won't be a tragedy." I don't know its original context, but I usually look at it before I take a test or turn in a paper. It is one of the few quotes that does not have the word "foreign" or "travel" in it. I must have subconsciously chose it when I was thinking about all this travel dream stuff; it lets me know that failing to realize my "dreams" isn't tragic. Maybe I can make it into something great - like little dreams. The dream of unclogging my shower, the dream of finishing all my readings for a class, the dream of removing my fingernail polish.
Thinking really hard about doing something is fun until the thinking keeps going and going and you forget what you were originally thinking so hard about. The semester is almost gone. I want you to go out and realize a little dream. Do your laundry. Go out the night before your exams. Eat excessive amounts of chocolate. Forget vision boards. For now, dream small. Even the Parthenon wasn't built in a day.
Connelly's column runs weekly Thursdays. She can be reached at c.hardaway@cavalierdaily.com.
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