No matter what they tell you, few people in your life will expect you to have it all together - as long as you are in college.
Basically, what I've come to understand - though it took me a while to figure out - is this: As a college student, I am permitted an interesting amount of leeway to forget my common sense and soundest reason at home at times. A part of me always knew it; more and more, I'm beginning to understand the extent of it.
For almost four years, I have enjoyed what I now consider a rare opportunity to make some poor decisions and pick up a few bad habits, without too much judgment or repercussion from my parents or friends. It has been the true beauty of higher education, a subtle perk in the face of that obvious aim of working toward an undergraduate degree.
I've found that people expect you to test the waters. They presume it to be all in the way of "trying to find yourself." Some undergraduate students choose to take things too far, others not far enough. On Friday night, I witnessed a girl in line at Trinity who had so much to drink that she just could not wait to locate a bathroom and resolved to ... relieve herself ... on the crowded sidewalk. I say, too far. At the same time, I would be willing to bet a large amount of money that more than a few students at U.Va. spent the majority of their weekends stationed at a table in the library, getting an early start to some homework assignment or exam preparation. By contrast, not far enough.
The variation undoubtedly depends on the individuals in question. What is interesting, though, is that in the end, most will end up in the same boat. Sometime before closing exercises, fourth-year students collectively will fall into line with one important and unifying assumption: By the time graduation rolls around, the luxury of being able to call yourself an adult without having to claim the level of responsibility it implies, is over. For most students, the beginning of post-undergraduate jobs and educational pursuits will signal the beginning of new and higher expectations.
With only four months until our safety net is removed, I find myself staring the reality of adulthood directly in the face. Applying to jobs and graduate schools has required me, more than anything else I have experienced in my life, to constantly explain myself and my intentions to stranger after stranger after stranger. The problem is that 15-plus years of school never fully prepared me to answer the deceivingly simple "who are you?" question - at least not in a comprehensive or altogether satisfying way.
I am finding that the most challenging questions that someone can ask you have nothing to do with rocket science or, for that matter, any information you learned sitting in a classroom. The most difficult questions are along the lines of "Where do you see yourself in five or 10 or 20 years?" "What are your career goals and what will you do to ensure they are met?" "What are your strengths and what are you weaknesses?" "What makes you better than all of your peers?"
All answers must come quickly, naturally and decisively because you have a short time to make a very big impression. You may get only a brief paragraph to describe your job preparation or 20 seconds to synthesize your research experience to an employer.
I don't doubt that preparation is key, but still, it seems not enough. The stakes are much higher and the pressure much more intense. A question so simple as "who are you?" gains new meaning. Suddenly, there is no question more loaded or more insinuating. The time for trial and error comes to an end and it is finally time to see what's been learned from all this, what the "college experience" has produced. People want to know. Better make the answers good.
Stephanie's column runs biweekly Tuesdays. She can be reached at s.waties@cavalierdaily.com.
Read More
It’s okay not to be okay
By Mai Hukuoka | 6 days agoWhether talking to a friend, a loved one or a professional, it is so necessary, and human, to need more than you can provide for yourself.
Taking a break at Tangerines Kitchen
By Charley Thomas | January 6, 2025What the restaurant somewhat lacks in ambiance, it compensates for in tasty dishes and prompt service.
Virginia Policy Lab — a hub for student-led policy action
By Katherine Haden | December 9, 2024Students propose their own projects and collaborate with other members to research their issues of interest, brainstorm solutions and write policy proposals.
