Nature versus nurture.
Although academics contest which side comes out on top in this ongoing debate about what truly defines a person, the general population seems to have made up its mind. Although people are growing more aware of the role of genetics in human development, the general view is that the environment plays a notable role in dictating one's preferences, traits and habits. But what both sides of the debate ignore is the concept of free will.
Nature advocates believe genetics have a profound influence on personality, while those supporting the nurture side believe the environment plays a larger role. The media and entertainment industry is primarily to blame for propagating support for the effects of one's environment. The role of parenting, for example, is hyperbolized in films, television and magazines. A child molester in television shows is often revealed to be a troubled individual who was abused as a child. Hollywood flashbacks, meanwhile, often feature repressed traumatic childhood events that have hampered the adult lives of its characters in films. And in too many magazine articles does the author blame a cold, unaffectionate parent for his emotional problems. These examples saturate their respective markets because they are dramatic and capture the attention of their audiences.
Does this mean the nature side of the debate has won? Of course not. After all, our lives are not predetermined at conception. A rapist is not predestined to be a criminal any more than a doctor is born a doctor. Nor do parenting methods force a child to become anything they do not want to be. Lac Su, a child of "Eastern" parenting, described to CNN how his "tiger parents" left him emotional scars that he still has as a nearly 40-year-old adult. His story was written in response to Amy Chua's Wall Street Journal article in which she claimed that her "tiger parenting" is the reason for her children's success. Apart from stereotyping millions of people as "tigers," there is a philosophical difference between the strict, cold approach, and loving, lenient parenting. Most of us probably fall somewhere near the middle, but the understanding is that Western parenting emphasizes happiness - or being loving and lenient - while the Eastern method is primarily concerned with success or being strict and cold. There is no doubt that with time, parenting in general is moving toward the Western style. Talk with your grandparents; they were likely raised with more stringent rules than the ones most parents abide by today. Even so, most baby boomers are not emotionally scarred by their strict parents, nor are Woodstock babies unsuccessful because of their carefree parents.
This leads me back to the nature versus nurture debate. The reason the academic debate has focused solely on genetics and the environment is because the other determinants of behavior - especially free will and divine intervention - are extremely difficult to measure and test. Nature and nurture combine to spread the notion that people can be understood based on who their parents are and how they grew up. Parenting is a perfect matrimony of both factors and is even more overemphasized than nature and nurture are.
The last question is origin of the epidemic of blaming parents for personal faults. Those who complain about their parents are those with the means to do so. Like Lac Su, they are the ones that are generally more educated, have the necessary connections and are financially well-off. In other words, these individuals comprise a very select sample rather than the majority. They inject their beliefs into the media, which paints their experiences and interpretations as representative of that of everyone else. Somewhere along the line, the rest of the population allowed this small sample of people to dictate popular belief.
People need to be aware that the person they are is who they choose to be, but this gets lost with the influence of the media. So calm down, current and future parents. You will neither damage your children beyond repair nor will you be the main reason for their success. And you cannot blame your parents for your shortcomings.
Hung Vu's column appears Tuesdays in The Cavalier Daily. He can be reached at h.vu@cavalierdaily.com.
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