I KNEW this moment would finally come. Years ago, I set a plan in motion to be able to publish an article in The Cavalier Daily. My initial strategy to become a writer was rebuffed when the editors at the time found out I was interested in computer science and conservative politics. So, I decided to take down The Cavalier Daily from the inside. I worked my way up the Photo section, where split infinitives and John Kerry weren't in vogue, knowing that if I managed to become the operations manager, I would be permitted to publish a "parting shot" in exchange for my toils.
I'm going to resist making this column about the valuable lessons I learned about the importance of student self-governance at the University, as history has indicated at least one of my companions here will. Instead, I will draw on my authority as a fourth-year student and spend my time explaining a few positive changes the University could make to enhance the student experience.
First, Brown College needs to go. When I was filling out my online housing application my first year, the University Housing Division explained Brown College as "a place where you can be who you really are." Like any good University student, I was drawn by the allure of an application process - that is, until I opened it. An actual question, which is representative of the others, is as follows:
"Backpacking across Europe, you manage to irrevocably offend an entire village. In retaliation, an old gypsy woman puts a curse on you, making you fall in love with a refrigerator. Explain your newfound love to your parents with utmost sincerity."
Should "eccentric" individuals who find some sort of irony or irreverent humor in a question like this be the type of students we should be encouraging at the University? Adding insult to injury, the residential college is located at the heart of the University, where unsuspecting University Guides might be in danger of letting their tours catch a glimpse of a "The Last Airbender" poster in a window or a magician fighting a warlock at 11:30 a.m. on a Tuesday. The solution is to relocate Brown College to present-day Hereford, and allow na