As third year comes to an end for me and I realize my time as an undergraduate is flying by, I've become more sentimental in my attitude towards Charlottesville. Each fall, we return to this familiar place learning new subjects and navigating our ways through endless syllabi. We exert so much energy into figuring things out, both inside and outside the classroom.
Inside the classroom, we judge our teachers on the first day of classes just as much as we feel they might be judging us. We wonder about their personalities and if they are the understanding or unreasonable kind of teacher. Usually the first day of each new class is a bit quiet, unless you can spot a group of familiar faces. We feel out our surroundings for a couple of weeks until we settle into our usual seat, the one we've calculated to be the most comfortable one for the semester, every other day.
And then, this comfort-seeking side of us extends outside the classroom. We figure out which dining hall fits our culinary palettes best, along with which friends we might find there. When we go home to our dorms or apartments, we gravitate towards more comforts: a pet, food we eat back at home, our all-time favorite television shows and our computers which keep us only a few clicks away from friends and family.
In our college bubble, we often condition ourselves to feel like our futures are hinged on our every move and decision we make here at school, constantly seeking comforting affirmation for our efforts. We study for hours on end so that at some point in the future when our grade comes in, we are pleased. If we didn't do as well as we'd liked, our mood is ruined for the next week. An issue with a friend or roommate could put a damper on the whole semester if it's not resolved, possibly jeopardizing future housing decisions.
Sometimes, we exert so much effort into making things run as smoothly as possible we forget things just aren't always going to be as "hunky-dory" as we'd like. And that's OK, too. At the beginning of the semester, I'd said that one of my goals was to be a little more of a "go-with-the-flow" kind of a person. While I'm still a work in progress, I think it's safe to say I've made some great headway on this task. In other words, I've figured out how to not figure everything out.
When you're a detail-oriented person like me, this is a huge accomplishment. The details of college life seem to build on one another and add up. "This good test grade will get me a good class grade, which will help me score an internship, which will..." You get the point. It's just an example of one of the many streams of thoughts which serve as daily motivation for students. But I've realized something: Hinging our future life plans, friends, relationships and jobs on what you do today, this day, is just too plain exhausting. I'm done exerting my energy into that line of thinking.
Although this kind of thinking can be comforting on a good day, it can be mentally debilitating on a bad one. The details that seem important now will not always be so significant - sometimes you have to look beyond life on Grounds to get some perspective.
Vanessa's column runs biweekly Fridays. She can be reached at v.stephenson@cavalierdaily.com.