Writer's block. Starting a paper or column always poses the biggest challenge to writers. So they often begin with concise independent clauses to appear profound or rebellious. Basically, simple sentences are the hipsters of writing. They defy. They conform. They wear painfully bright avant-garde clothing and they heard of Death Cab before they became so, dare I say it, m-word [mainstream]. Simple sentences, like hipsters, are tools. Using a simple sentence to start this column means I'm desperate: no prose or puns to capture an audience, no anecdotes or jokes to relay.
Reduced. I am, like the sizes of hipster skinny jeans, reduced. Ironically - shoot, I think this hipster voice is wearing off on me - I'm writing about writer's block.
Apart from getting magically transported to the position of "senior writer," having a weekly as opposed to biweekly column has done nothing beneficial for my creative self-esteem. I was desperate enough at block party - block party, I tell you! - to confront my editor and ask for story ideas, and then to go to my old editor's house and bombard her as well. Block party turned to Writer's Block Party, and still there were first years clambering to get inside. They said I should write about something that happens to me that night, or maybe how it feels to be an older, wiser third year. I asked my entire house, and they drew a collective blank. It's not for lack of trying - and I do appreciate their help - but I just wasn't inspired.
And there's the issue
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