For students at the University, Family Weekend is the chance to update families about their lives, justify thousands of dollars worth of tuition just by walking parents around the Lawn, catch a much-needed break from schoolwork and clean the assortment of alcohol and dirty laundry scattered in every crevice of any room. More than a chance to reconnect, however, Family Weekend can be a jarring experience for those who must transition between "college me" and "home me."
On a weekly basis, interaction with adults involves listening to a professor lecture for 50 minutes. Maybe, just maybe, interaction expands to ordering a drink from a Starbucks barista who is more than 30 years old. Unless you have a job, interaction with "real people" is sparing. For this reason, it is easy to forget that life exists outside of the 18- to 22-year-old age range. Assumptions which hold true in college - going to bed at midnight is early, and cursing as much as a sailor even outside of nautical-themed date functions is acceptable - shatter as soon as "real people" enter. This past weekend, my sorority held our parents' formal. So, with this memory fresh in my mind, I will now teach a course called Parental Interaction 3999 - cross-listed with How Things Work For Those Who Can Schmooze 3500 - as a lesson for those who have yet to face the onslaught of parents in our otherwise wrinkle-free world.
The prerequisite for this class is being able to interact with your own parents, so I will skip that segment and jump ahead to introducing parents to friends. Always have an idea in mind of whom you want your parents to meet. That way, you can steer your parents in the direction of awesome as opposed to awkward. If you have no course of action, your parents will end up randomly introducing themselves to anyone who potentially smiles in their direction or looks like someone they might have stalked in your Facebook pictures. Instead, take the lead and proceed as follows: "So and So, I'd love for you to meet my parents! Mom, Dad, this is So and So. She is in this activity with me and that activity with me. So and So also enjoys long walks on the beach, can sing an impeccable karaoke edition of 'Don't Stop Believin'' and is more interesting than the most interesting man in the world." This way, parents have information to feed off of. Parents have survived years of small talk and uncomfortable formal gatherings, though, so these situations are never as intimidating as when you have to talk to other parents.
When conversing with other parents, it is always important to say initially how much their son or daughter means to you. For example, "it's so nice to meet you, Mr. So and So. Your son is the guy I can always count on to carry me home when I have lost all ability to walk. I really appreciate his toned biceps and ability to deduce the closet route from Point A to my toilet. What a great job you did raising him."
Once you have exhausted all mutual areas of knowledge - their son or daughter - you must find other viable conversation topics. The weather. Ah, there is nothing like a good old, "Boy, is it cold outside! And I heard it was supposed to rain next week!" conversation. Talking about the weather can precipitate - incorporate pun into column? Check - a steady flow of conversation. But then, once you find yourself transitioning from barometric pressure to the effect of cirrocumulus clouds on ozone depletion, you should realize it is time to move on. To the bathroom, of course!
For parents, visiting their children at school allows them to relive their own glory days. At formals, let them have their moments even if it means watching them shuffle along to Lil Wayne's "Low." They probably have no idea that they are swaying to explicitly offensive and suggestive rap music when it is sung by such a talented party band, but that is just part of the experience. Also, never discount a parent's ability to have a genuine good time. On the dance floor, the moms and dads out-grooved and outlasted the kids all night. The take-away from this class is to treat parents with the respect they deserve, or at least realize that they have only a few weekends a year to stay up late - translation: in bed by 11 p.m. - and dance like there is no tomorrow - translation: dance until they realize how much their hips will hurt the next day.
E.P.'s column runs biweekly Tuesdays. She can be reached e.stonehill@cavalierdaily.com.
Read More
An ode to running
By Malone Morchower | YesterdayIn addition to providing me with opportunities to connect with others around Grounds, I really value the way that running immerses me in time and place.
Khul Ke Nacho — a celebration of free-spirited dancing
By Malaika Rehman | 2 days agoThe sea of attendees wearing desi attire and dancing joyfully throughout the night was a reflection of the thriving Pakistani community in and outside of PSA.
Holding onto every grain in the hourglass
By Mai Hukuoka | 4 days agoNow that I’m back at school, I have made it my mission to take note of the sneaky passage of time.
