Talking about Valentine's Day with any group of girls will probably elicit strong feelings, ranging from giddy excitement to dejected loneliness or, in extreme cases, utter despair.
Some girls stick together on this romantic day to experience these intense emotions as a group, watching romantic comedies or dramas. For example, when first-year College student Caitlin Russell and her hallmates found out they would be single on Valentine's Day, they decided to see the romantic drama film "The Vow."
Talking about Valentine's Day with a group of men, however, doesn't evoke anything like the same range of emotions, and you don't have to listen to the plans they've made with other single guy friends to fill the void left by "singledom."
Turn on the radio or television, and you will be struck by the sheer number of companies which have taken it upon themselves to remind men to pick up something special before Feb. 14 arrives. Advertisements rarely encourage women to do the same.
While nothing about Valentine's Day suggests it is anything less than a mutual holiday to be shared by both sexes, in the abstract it is often perceived as feminine.
"I'm looking at Valentine's night as a night for her, a day for her," University alumnus Luke Rabin said of his Valentine's Day plans.
The curious thing about this holiday, however, is its existence as a female-centric tradition in a modern world which has focused during the last 50 years on eradicating gender stereotypes. Women now play more active roles in courtship, even traversing the tumultuous seas of online dating to find the next big love of their lives. Today's woman no longer waits by her phone hoping Johnny will ring and ask to pick her up in his Thunderbird to grab milkshakes at the nearby diner.
So why has Valentine's Day maintained its rigid gender stratification?
"There is so much pressure on guys, and some girls are do or die for Valentine's Day - they think Valentine's Day is just for them, just a female holiday and it's not a mutual thing," first-year College student Krystal Okonkwo said.
In other cultures, however, the holiday seems to be less oriented toward females.
First-year College student Chelsea Nwapa described a Valentine's Day tradition in her native Nigeria. In her high school, she said, a person gets "vowed" on Valentine's Day, or he gets "roasted."
"Vowing is when a girl or a guy sends gifts to someone they like, but there were no gifts allowed at my school, so you had to smuggle gifts in, making gift-giving even more significant," Nwapa said. "Roasting is when you don't get vowed, but some boys are so mean that they put chicken eggs in the girl's locker or a yam that says, 'You're so ugly, no one likes you.' It's terribly mean. The girl who gets roasted on Valentine's Day has to remain under the status of being roasted for the whole year."
Some people feel it's acceptable for women to take the initiative on Valentine's Day, but it still doesn't seem to be the social norm in the United States,
"I think that Valentine's Day being pinned on men by society is the product of the lazy Western ideal of love, but I think it's stupid," said Ethan Lipscomb, a Para Coffee barista and Charlottesville native. "If women, not girls, are able to take a personal initiative on life, it's far more charming than any social norm I've encountered."
Regardless of whether you celebrate Valentine's Day alone reading a nihilistic novel while listening to heavy metal, or if you made reservations more than six months ago for you and a special someone to dine in the Dome Room by candlelight, or even if you forgot it was Valentine's Day until you read this article, don't let perceptions of gender norms keep you from following your heart.
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