Signing up for classes gives me a strange sort of thrill. There is something about opening SIS and seeing a wide array of new opportunities that gives me butterflies in my stomach. I scroll through the listings of all of the departments I find interesting and see countless classes I know I would love.
As I pile up countless enrollment requests, it’s not long before I’m struck with the unfortunate realization I will not actually be able to take all 25 of these classes. I am temporarily disheartened, but it’s not long before I pick myself up to confront the challenge of choosing my top five.
My first step is to stare at my enrollment requests, believing if I simply look at them long enough, I will magically discover a way to take all my courses and still not have to do very much work. This attempt at performing a telepathic computer feat takes all of my concentration, and I manage to feel infinitely productive while looking like a lunatic.
Once my eyes start to glaze over and I decide it’s time for a change of scenery, I head to ratemyprofessors.com and look up who is teaching the courses in question. Yet even the professors with the highest ratings always seem to have at least one student who appears to have been permanently scarred by the class. He fervently warns all other students their lives will also be over if they make the same decision that he did, and so plants a pesky seed of doubt.
Likewise, the professors with the worst ratings always seem to have one student who appears shocked and appalled by the other remarks. She simply cannot believe how everyone could hate her favorite professor so much. Personally, I would find it infinitely more helpful if everyone just agreed, as the incredulous student always leaves me feeling I could be the one exception to the rule, even though — let’s face it — I never am.
After spending a ridiculous amount of time reading these reviews and researching the accuracy of any red peppers, I return to the enrollment requests to weed out some classes at last.
It’s around this time I begin to feel Ryan Seacrest should be narrating the process with a dramatic, “America, you have spoken. Dim the lights, here we go!” Realistically, it would probably sound more like, “Tune in again next week to watch Kelly change her mind, stare at her computer and inexplicably remain excited by the process.”
Throughout the week, I review possible combinations in my head and slowly begin to cut down the list, swap out some classes and decide on my top five.
Finally, I’ve got it — my future is planned out. I picture my extremely intellectual and productive semester to come, which will obviously go exactly as planned. I will get into all the classes I want, they will be as wonderful as I imagine, I will do all the work, I will still have time to go to the gym and I will continue riding this enrollment high forever.
Well, it sounds nice in theory. Maybe next semester it will actually work out.
Kelly’s column runs biweekly Tuesdays. She can be reached at k.seegers@cavalierdaily.com.
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