If you have never attempted to find a TA‘s office in Clark Hall , don’t start now… unless you are up for an adventure.
As I sauntered my way into Clark, I was expecting to see my TA’s office right away, be done in five minutes and then go hit up Greenberry’s for some coffee. But notorious as I am for my incompetence with directions, I still thought I could navigate my way within a building.
After my roundabout of the main floor rendered me puzzled by its lack of offices, I “nonchalantly” looked into the environmental science administrative room, with puppy dog eyes pleading for some direction.
A woman asked if I needed help, and I informed her that I was trying to find my TA’s office. Then, the man behind the desk asked what my TA’s name is. When I told him, he said, “Her office…isn’t here,” as if her office was in a different universe. He was sending me on a long journey, and began to rattle off directions. I couldn’t tell you exactly what he said, but it sounded a little bit like “over the river and through the woods…”
I made it to the first floor after riding two elevators, navigating a few hallways, accidentally going to the ground floor, and using my sharp directional skills to deduce that I should probably go up. When I arrived, my TA seemed shocked to see me. I think I am the only student who has ever made it there alive.
After a helpful meeting, I left the office feeling accomplished, until I was hit with the reality that I had to find my way back through the maze.
I got back in the elevator, but for some reason decided to try to walk back to the other side of the building on the second floor. I got off and began another trek through an unknown and windy hallway.
I would like to be able to supply some sort of deep appreciation for the intricacies of the hallways of Clarke, but unfortunately I was too busy thinking to myself, ‘act like you know what you’re doing’ to notice much of anything other than a sign on a random office that said, “Psych Ward.”
I finally arrived at yet another elevator and decided to go to the third floor. Once I got there I walked for quite some time before finding an elevator that I thought would take me back to the other wing of the first floor. Little did I know, it was the exact same elevator I had been on before, because I had walked in a circle.
The professor asked where I was trying to go, and when I told him I was just trying to get back to the library, he simply said, “You can’t.”
I didn’t really know how to respond to this. Luckily he went on to explain that it was very complicated, but if I stayed with him he would ensure my safe arrival at the library. After I accepted his offer and thanked him, he lightened the mood by starting to tell a story:
“You know what happened to the last undergraduate who got lost in here? If you go over to the corner of the hallway, you’ll find some bones. He died of starvation. Then I took them and examined them in my lab. I ground them all up.” How pleasant.
That is the tale of my trip to the alternate universe that is the new wing of Clark. I can’t say that I would be able to find my way back through that universe, and hopefully I will never have to, but least I met some interesting people along the way.
Kelly’s column runs biweekly Mondays. She can be reached at k.seegers@cavalierdaily.com.
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