I’m going to be honest. I wasn’t always the “Good Old Song”-singing, orange and blue-bleeding Wahoo that I am today. When I first visited the University during the Virginia Model United Nations Conference, I hated it. I felt like I had just stepped foot on the movie set for colonial America. Ultimately, I came to love U.Va. when I returned to Grounds during Days on the Lawn. The vibrant and involved students and dedicated faculty made me feel like this would be a place that would inspire and challenge me. When I finally did make the decision to come to U.Va., my high school history teacher, who had gotten his graduate degree here (and was actually Katie Couric’s TA), spoke highly of the academics. However, he also talked about the strong alumni network and collegiate spirit — the “good ol’ boy network.” I didn’t know what it meant at the time, but over the course of my four years here, I definitely found out.
After taking my first few steps on Grounds, I decided that I could continue my involvement in Model United Nations, so I joined the International Relations Organization. Being the “MUNster” that I was, I lived, breathed & drank Model UN. Meetings became my only source of sustenance; sleep was replaced by hours of researching, and creating crises for committees quenched my thirst to do — something, anything. Ultimately, I took the leap to apply to be on the Secretariat, or executive planning committee of the conference.
But even though I thought I was doing everything to be visible and active in the organization, I didn’t get the position. When I say everything, I really do mean everything: going to the Eurotrash party so I could build friendships in addition to working relationships, fighting to stay awake for every weekly guest speaker, and freezing in Montreal in the middle of January to compete in a conference at McGill University. Later, I found out many members of the same fraternity were selected to be on the Secretariat.
From this experience, I finally came to understand “the good old boy network.” But my message is not “give up and try something else” or “join Greek life.” It’s this: you have to make genuine relationships with people and find mentors willing to help you and vouch for you. Looking back, I realize that what I did to become involved in an organization was superficial and misguided. Instead of trying to make meaningful relationships with people in the organization, I simply put in “face time,” and, as a result, I could not compete with the friendships and bonds that other people had formed with each other by being genuine.
As I am sure many of you have discovered, through pledging, or just enjoying dorm life, the University is built upon close-knit relationships and networks. Ever since I set foot on Grounds, an older friend from high school always reached out to me to try out for the Jefferson Society because it was something in which she was very involved. And now I do the same for every organization that I have joined. In fact, some of my most meaningful involvements have been the result of an encouragement from an upperclassman. When I was a second year, a third-year girl I had met through the Women’s Asian American Leadership Initiative encouraged me to run for an executive position on the Asian Student Union: an organization I had once never even heard of, that is now where I spend the most time and keep my closest friends.
Now that I am a fourth year and see the many people who I have helped and who have helped me, I realize that those things I did as a first year to be a leader in an organization were futile because getting ahead is a matter of relationships. You don’t need to travel to the tundra or figure out how to do the most meritorious research to get involved in an organization. Instead, simply reach out to an upperclassman or professor you admire. Also, once you’re in a position of influence, don’t forget to pay it forward and be that source of inspiration and encouragement for someone else. It’s a legacy and a cycle that is as easy as attending an event that your friend has worked hard to organize, going to your hallmate’s a capella concert or cheering on a friend during a competition. Such actions are the small things you can do to build meaningful relationships with people and build a supportive “good ol’ boy network” in a positive way. In a student self-governed environment, we are our own best advocates. So get out there, find your own cheerleaders and don’t forget to always be one for others! Wahoowa!
Mary Wang is a fourth-year trustee.
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