1. About my … credit card bill:
The three successive charges from Trinity at midnight were just food! The White Spot is a student store — I was studying until 3 a.m.! Buying T-shirts from fraternities are helping a charity! They must’ve charged me twice at Chipotle! Cookout was a dorm-wide barbeque function we had to pay for!
2. About my … study habits:
I have an Economics test on Monday so I stayed in on Friday and Saturday to study. No Mom, the second floor of Clemons is where you get the most work done! I had to watch Gossip Girl for my class! It’s crazy, I get so much work done in my bed! I’ve never missed my 8 a.m.! I’ve never missed my 9 a.m.! I’ve never missed my 10 a.m.!
3. About my … sleeping habits:
I’ve never gone to bed past 2 a.m. I drink decaf coffee when it gets late so it doesn’t keep me up! It’s so easy to get out of bed in the morning! I change my sheets once a week. I get so much sleep at night and I never need to nap! I’ve never fallen asleep in class! I didn’t sleep for three hours in Clemons when I was “studying” last night.
4. About my … relationship with boys:
What’s a fraternity? Tell Grandma I have already have a really nice, smart boyfriend. Sexiling only happens in the movies! Pledging doesn’t seem so bad at all! Mixers with fraternities are fun because I get to see all the older girls in my sorority who I don’t see around very much. Boys’ rooms are so neat! I know so many guys who do their own laundry! Boys have cooties!
5. About my … eating habits:
I’ve used all my meal swipes. I have so many plus dollars left! I gave up dining hall desserts this semester! I have nine fruit and vegetables every day! I never eat past 9 p.m.! I only eat on the Corner on weekends! I don’t even know how to order takeout. What’s Campus Cookies? Ice Milk is totally healthy for you. I didn’t make three waffles and eat all of them at brunch yesterday! That roll of cookie dough in the fridge is my roommate’s!
6. About my … weekend plans:
My favorite mixed drink is lemonade and iced tea. Boylan serves the best food at night! Fraternity parties just aren’t my scene! Pregames are what happens before a sporting event, right? The only time I’ve ever shotgunned something is the front seat of a car! The best type of beer is root beer! I do Pint Night with Ben and Jerry’s every Tuesday! I’d never go out on Thursday because I have Friday classes!
7. About my … shopping non-addiction:
I don’t online shop at all. Those 12 Urban Outfitters boxes in my room are my roommate’s — just like the cookie dough! I don’t want a new dress for Foxfield! Six pairs of yoga pants are totally enough! I can walk right by Finch without buying anything! I swear I wasn’t the one who cracked my phone! Those student charges from the Bookstore were for ink, not sweatpants! It was on sale!
8. About my … branching out:
I know how to use the bus to get to Barracks and Fashion Square. I’ve totally been to my professor’s for dinner! I’m on the Downtown Mall all the time! Yep, I joined those clubs I was thinking about joining! I’ve been to so many concerts! I always drive down the fun and traffic-free Rt. 29! What do you mean have I been to Monticello?
9. About my … cleanliness:
My room is really clean. I’ve showered more than twice this week! My laundry is all folded, clean and put away! My bed doesn’t double as my closet! I haven’t worn these leggings for a week straight! I vacuum all the time — I even dusted last week! I know where all my books are! No, there hasn’t been a cup of Starbucks sitting on my nightstand since first semester finals. You can see the floor!
10. About my … keeping in touch:
I’ll call later, I’m studying. I’ll call later, I have a test right now! I’ll call later, I’m at the gym! I’ll call later, I’m in the middle of eating. I’ll call later, I feel so sick! I’ll call later, I’m in a meeting! I’ll call later, my roommate is in the room! I’ll call later, I have to go do that thing that I do that’s really important! I’ll call later, I promise I really will!
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