Last week, I received a phone call of the utmost importance.
“She’s my girlfriend! She’s my girlfriend!” my 7-year-old cousin exclaimed. I have to say, I was two parts overjoyed, and one part wondering where I had gone wrong to be 11 years older and nowhere close to this point. It may have something to do with the fact my flirting involves such gems as, “Wow, your notes are so organized,” and snort-laughing. Nonetheless, I was extremely proud and excited for my little cousin’s ventures in puppy love.
The story really all started about a month ago. It was then I noticed my cousin frantically changing his Transformer from car to robot, robot to car — over and over again. Wanting to be the hip older cousin — which I am, as indicated by my use of mid-life crisis terminology — I inquired as to the cause of his distress.
“It’s this girl. I know I’m in love with her.”
Evidently having less experience in such matters than he, I asked how he knew he was truly in love. With the potential to pick up some tips, I curiously asked what made this girl so special.
“Okay, well, we just have so much in common! We both have black hair. We both do Math club. Both of our parents shop at Wal-Mart sometimes. We both bring our lunches to school. We both like the song ‘I’m gonna pop some tags.’ And we both have the SAME WATER BOTTLE!”
There are two very important lessons embedded in description I do not want you to miss: First, it is perfectly acceptable to create your own titles for songs; and second, when you have the same water bottle, you know you are meant to be together. My cousin could hardly contain his excitement — she was clearly his female counterpart.
It was in this moment I realized my cousin is more of a romantic than many of my peers. Somehow, for some reason, innocent love and romance disappeared on the path to adulthood. Surrounded by what many refer to as “hook-up culture,” I cannot help but miss the little things, like getting chased across the playground at recess — or that defining moment in your relationship when someone would ask you to sit next to them in the cafeteria.
Still on the phone, you could say I was experiencing all the feels. I was glad for the opportunity to live vicariously through my cousin now that he had officially popped the question.
Ready to share his enthusiasm, I enquired the basics: When did he ask and how? What was she wearing? How happy was she? Did he have plans for a couple-coordinated Halloween costume? I suggested Kimye with a North West plastic baby doll accessory — a personal 2k13 favorite.
He told me he plucked “one of those little yellow flowery things and just a little bit of grass” because he thought she would like them — I agreed buttercups and grass makes for a lovely arrangement — and just asked her to be his girlfriend. She was wearing a purple shirt that was, “Sparkly, like her!” She was very happy because she loved him too. And what is a Kimye?
Other than his lacking knowledge of pop culture, I was very proud of my cousin for his suave moves and courage. There’s actually a lot to learn from his spunky, 7-year-old self. I suppose I’ll have to let him be the big kid in the realm of romance — and next time, it will probably be me calling him for advice on my very own water bottle boy.
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