Another week, another loss. Another football season all but gone down the drain, and the fans are screaming for the coach’s head.
This sounds familiar.
Before Mike London’s arrival in Charlottesville, Virginia fans were equally outraged with then-head coach Al Groh. The pair may go down in history as two of the most frustrating and inept coaches we’ve seen at Virginia — but who is more mediocre? Let’s decide.
Bowl Games
In Groh’s time at Virginia, the Cavaliers went to four consecutive bowl games from 2002-2005 and one in 2007, compiling a 3-2 record.
London has only taken Virginia bowling once, when he led the squad to the 2011 Chick-fil-A Bowl. While “Back-to-Back Continental Tire Bowl Champions” doesn’t really make for a flashy T-shirt, it’s better than nothing. Plus one for Groh.
Recruiting
Groh was notoriously bad at recruiting in-state. He and his ever-changing cast of assistant coaches never quite developed the relationships with high school coaches necessary for reining in top high school players. So lured by a strong football program and perhaps an affinity for cows, most of the state’s top prospects flocked to Virginia Tech.
Improving on Groh’s recruitment record wouldn’t have taken too much effort on London’s part, but he has admittedly excelled in his own right. London’s recruiting classes have been the best the program has seen in years, with five-star recruits Andrew Brown and Quin Blanding highlighting next year’s class. Attracting five-star players is no guarantee of on-field success, but at least London is bringing in some weapons. Point to London.
Beating Virginia Tech
In his nine years, Groh managed only one victory against the Hokies. A decade later, Virginia fans hardly need to be reminded of last year’s time-out fiasco or 2011’s shutout at Scott Stadium with London at the helm. Barring some kind of miracle Nov. 30, let’s just say that both coaches have been woefully unsuccessful against our hated in-state rival. Tie.
Beating Duke
Even if neither can stack up against Tech, surely they’ve been able to thrive against our lesser ACC rival, Duke? Maybe not.
In four years, London’s Cavaliers have up and died before the less-than-mighty Blue Devils three times. Groh only lost to Duke in the last two years of his career, but it’s worth mentioning that in 2008 the Cavaliers went from a second-place ACC Coastal finish to handing Duke its first conference win in 25 attempts, with a score of 31-3 in Durham. It’s all been downhill from there. No points to anyone.
Quarterbacks
Matt Schaub, the last great Cavalier quarterback, thrived during Groh’s early coaching years. But he was recruited in 1998 by George Welsh, not Groh. After Schaub left, Groh’s only winning season came with Jameel Sewell at the helm — if you’re asking “Who?” right now, the correct answer is, “Exactly.” Groh left the Cavaliers in the less-than-capable hands of Marc Verica, leading up to London’s similar issues. The past four years have seen a changing cast of subpar QBs as well — Michael Rocco, Phillip Sims and poor David Watford among them — so both coaches get a solid M for Mediocre.
Coach-isms
Groh owns this category. Not exactly a media darling, he arrived in Charlottesville having proclaimed that, with his NFL coaching experience, other coaches merely played checkers while he played chess. Yikes.
Groh’s exit was just as, shall we say, interesting as his entrance. At his final press conference, Groh recited Dale Wimbrow’s “The Guy in the Glass,” then proceeded to spell out his own virtues — being the mastermind behind a 3-9 season not among them — to the media. Less than 24 hours later, he was fired.
London’s hallmark for the year has been something along the lines of “I have to do better” — you think? — but unless he starts telling people that he’s playing Settlers of Catan while everyone else plays Chutes ‘N’ Ladders, he won’t ever be as cringe-worthy as Groh. Point for London.
Hanging-On-By-A-Thread Factor
At the onset of the 2007 campaign, Craig Littlepage told disgruntled Virginia fans that Groh would remain the head coach at least throughout the season. Still, after a disappointing few years, Groh’s performance that year would be under heavy scrutiny, and the slightest mistake could have cost him. Perhaps because his job was on the line, Groh delivered a winning season, a bowl game appearance, and an ACC Coach of the Year award — enough to keep him on for another two years of bad coaching.
Now, in 2013, London faces a similar situation. Littlepage has insisted that his head coach will stay in Charlottesville throughout 2014 despite a terrible performance and a livid fan base. It remains to be seen whether London will pull off a miracle like his predecessor in 2007, or whether he will provide yet another year of the disappointment that both coaches seem so adept at creating. Half a point to Groh.
Verdict
Honestly, the real losers in this scenario are Virginia fans. It might not be fair to compare London to Groh — London hasn’t had nearly as much time to rack up wins and bowl games. But he has certainly proven capable of being just as bad as his predecessor. London will have at least one more season in Charlottesville, but whether he sinks or swims, we’ve seen enough mediocrity in Scott Stadium to last a lifetime.
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