1. Eat… a lot:
Winter is cold. There’s only so much three sweatshirts, six pairs of socks and your fleece-lined leggings under your jeans can do to prepare you for the biting Charlottesville cold. You’d think because we’re pretty far south, the weather would be warmer here, but think again. It becomes imperative to build up that layer of fat that even your Barbour can’t rival. TL;DR: eat as much as you possibly can in the next few weeks to build up some insulation.
2. Break out the Bean boots and giant sweatshirts:
Not that you weren’t wearing them already, but they’ll cover up that extra insulation layer that you’ve been working so hard to build up. ‘Tis finally the season to sit on your couch and complain about how cold it is, subsequently not moving for hours at a time. You might as well do that with maximum comfort and minimal amounts of non-cotton clothing.
3. Stop doing your work:
You need to get into that winter break habit of sitting around and doing nothing sometime, so why not start now? What are finals? The official U.Va. definition: everything that’s not a midterm is a final. And here, midterms never end, so by a process of deduction, finals will never start. I can’t be the only one banking on someone inventing technology in the next three weeks that will actually make that paper write itself.
4. Take a lot of pictures of leaves and fall clothes:
Take it from an Instagram pro: you’re going need some #tbts to get you through the winter. Everyone knows we’re at our best when we’re our most tan, so it’s imperative to maximize those last few weeks of the tan you got from standing on the Hill at Scott Stadium that one time. Plus, it’s an unspoken rule that you’re only allowed one Starbucks holiday cup Instagram (yes, even if they spell your name backwards and in another language), so save that for when your skin takes on the color of a snowman and all the leaves that are just so #fall are buried under a snowbank.
5. Start singing Christmas carols:
Halloween is over which means it’s time for Christmas because Thanksgiving just means eating a lot and we all do that anyway. Plus, Trader Joes has already rolled out peppermint-flavored everything, and that’s a pretty good way to measure seasonal appropriateness. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather hear “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” than being told that you want to hear me roar-oar-oar-oar for the hundredth time.
6. Learn how to knit:
Make your own scarves, sweaters and socks — socks for your dog, socks for your grandma. Knitting entails spending minimal money and minimal effort but doesn’t require you to leave your own home if you get really cold. Does it get any better than that? Taking up knitting is practical life planning for your 80s plus a great way to procrastinate. Why study for that Econ exam when you could knit matching blankets for all of your roommates?
7. Brush up on your basketball knowledge:
It’s easy to slide by football season because Hoo (sorry, had to) actually makes it past the tailgate, anyway? And all you have to do to look involved at a football game is vaguely motion in one direction for another “Cavalier First Down!” or sing The Good Ol’ Song when someone who knows better throws their arm around you. Basketball, though, requires a little more effort. You don’t want to be the only fan cheering when our players are taking a free throw — trust me, everyone else will be quiet. There’s no hiding.
8. Start carrying around a pillow/blanket:
It’s inevitable that you’re not going to want to walk back from Clemons to your apartment, so the next logical step would be sleeping there, right? All signs (impending finals, rapidly dropping temperatures) point to Clemons becoming synonymous with your apartment anyway. We can all admit to taking an ‘accidental’ nap there once or twice, so why not commit and turn that 10-minute snooze into a few-hour one and call it a night? A blanket and a pillow will make that commitment comfortable. Those booths on the top floor aren’t so bad.
9. Stock up on tissues:
Tissues are worth a trip to Kroger or better yet, a bulk order from Amazon. Because everything is better and more efficient via bulk order from Amazon. Just don’t let everyone know you’re the girl with the tissues — people will borrow and borrow and you’ll give and give and then all of the sudden you’re sneezing in the middle of your 13-person discussion with that really cute guy and there’s snot everywhere but you have no tissues and there’s no way to discreetly wipe your nose with paper because ow and ew and then your life is over.
10. Find a snuggle buddy:
Companionship is nice. Snuggle buddies don’t require much attachment, just a warm body and some comfortable space to lie on. Booths in Clemons, anyone? Grab a boy, grab a girl, grab that fish you just impulse bought from Petco, grab anyone. Don’t be afraid to test the waters a little to find your perfect snuggle fit (it’s not me, it’s you) because it’s imperative you and your buddy have maximum compatibility. One who will bring snacks is always much preferred.
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