I was going to submit an article about something lighthearted this week. It contained nothing of consequence, hid behind irony and served only for enjoyment. I wrote the whole thing. I sat down and typed away for an hour or two. The finished product wasn’t terrible — it was the result of genuine effort and emotion. But I realized it didn’t sit well with me. And I didn’t know why.
What I came to realize was that I couldn’t write something so seemingly inane and deem it worth mine or others’ time. I was struggling to justify even doing my normal homework at a time when such tragedy has taken over Charlottesville. That column wasn’t what I was supposed to write.
To pontificate on something mundane or goofy, when a community extremely close to my heart continues to go through this difficult time, seems selfish. I would feel guilty using my platform to express my thoughts on something of little consequence.
My guilt does not derive from a close personal connection to Hannah. I don’t pretend to know her — or her friends — well. Rather, the lump in my stomach comes from knowing, in the simplest of terms, something horrible has happened to someone who is loved dearly by many people.
Too often at school I, and others, ignore the importance of some aspects of life that should demand more of our attention. Instead of working to fix problems in our community, I study for my tests, go out with my friends and participate in my chosen extracurricular activities.
Most of the time, I get away with it. Almost always I am left to pursue these pleasures with no consequence, no feeling of dread or guilt in my stomach distracting me from watching football. But with a tragedy so close to home, so salient and mysterious, I was blindsided.
Because Ferguson is far away or because I never have had to deal directly with a victim of assault, I have the privilege of pursuing my own pleasures or those of my immediate loved ones rather than confronting the majority of life’s atrocities.
Because I dodge these consequences on a daily basis, when I do hear bad news, it hits me hard across the face. I’m left emotionally confused and waiting for a recovery I know can only come from a changed mindset.
There has to be a balance — something that allows me to pursue the selfish without ignoring the issues of great consequence.
I hope I and others can learn not to hide from issues that matter, and to address and handle problems of this magnitude, rather than be blindsided by them.
Aidan’s column runs biweekly Fridays. He can be reached at a.cochrane@cavalierdaily.com.
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