My dad is the epitome of going with the flow. Last Christmas break, he ordered chicken at a restaurant and got fish instead, but tipped the waitress extra. On every family road trip growing up, he made upwards of four pit stops in the same hour to make sure each kid got his or her fast-food meal of choice. When my mom decided we should forgo previously planned family bonding to attend our local community college’s production of “The Vagina Monologues,” he just laughed and started the car.
People love him for it. His unshakably temperate demeanor is a trait I’ve admired all my life. It also gives him complete credibility when he tells me not to let things bother me. But despite his excellent example, I have always been easily bothered by situations, comments, and experiences — big or small. After years of struggle, I have finally discovered the value in constructive indignation — the ability to recognize when frustration can fuel your actions and effect change.
On a micro level, I get irked by inefficiencies, carelessly offensive uses of language and the use of ugly font in any professional publication. Often, my annoyance is entirely unconstructive and I have learned to let go of grievances that cannot be channeled into constructive indignation. But I have come to understand that in certain situations, it is not only necessary, but productive, to be annoyed. For example, self-directed frustration with my inefficient use of free time has allowed me to hone my multi-tasking capabilities. I can now eat breakfast, do class reading on an iPad and work out simultaneously.
On a macro level, it is necessary for people to let things bother them. History is shaped by people who were constructively indignant — people who instigated social change on a macro level because they established a pattern of being productive with their frustration on a micro level. Take Bill Gates, who was bothered by the lack of technology at his high school outside of Seattle. His dissatisfaction led him to the University of Washington’s computer lab as a teen — an example of frustration leading to macro change. It is in Gates’ nature to be dissatisfied with the status quo and, as such, he has established active rejection of inefficiencies and injustice as one of his governing paradigms.
Hence, I am confused as to why the same self-help books that claim to hold the key to success posit that one of the steps to achieving health, happiness and wealth is not letting anything bother you. I argue, vehemently, that frustration is one of the most powerful emotions. If we can harness small daily frustrations and channel them constructively, we can empower ourselves and find the necessary energy to make meaningful change in the world. We cannot let contentment be synonymous with complacency, for there are far too many problems in the world that deserve our constructive indignation.
I’m no Bill Gates and I have yet to figure out what is productive to be bothered about and what is not. But I write this as a rejection of the notion that it is always virtuous to be content and temperate.
Lauren’s column runs biweekly Fridays. She can be reached at l.jackson@cavalierdaily.com.
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