America loves to hate winners — the teams who make you scowl with their sickeningly sweet appearances, fair-weather fans, and ubiquitous worldwide pomp. I’m speaking of the rotten organizations you’re thinking about right now. Duke basketball. The Yankees. The Heat (of yesteryear). The godforsaken Dallas Cowboys of the world.
The only thing more satisfying than the jeers? Seeing these five-star-recruit-having, 100-million-dollar-contract-slinging, multi-pennant-boasting franchises struggle, fail, and most of all, lose. If you’re one of these people who love to see the tears stream from Tony Romo’s tender cheeks or catch a Duke fan in the fetal position on their couch, I have a tale that will bring a smile to your face.
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Just 16 years ago Manchester City was a respectable club in the third-tier of English football. Historically, they have been a humble mid-to-upper-table club, winning the league twice in 1936-37 and 1967–68, occasionally spending seasons in the English Championship and Football League One. Then, in 2008, everything changed when it was purchased by the Abu Dhabi United Group, an equity group owned by Sheikh Mansour of the United Arab Emirates.
Immediately following its purchase, Man City became just another reprehensible behemoth like Chelsea or Manchester United, but without their illustrious, storied pasts — making its supporters not born in the City of Manchester all the more questionable. (Sorry Man City fans). Instantly one of the richest clubs in the world, the board began to spray its cash with reckless abandon, spitting in the face of UEFA’s Financial Fair Play Regulations.
Among its more comical sums paid: £18,000,000 for eventual Brazilian bust, Jô; £32,000,000 for a back-up centerback in Eliaquim Mangala, and £17,500,000 for Roque Santa Cruz (who?).
Most, however, have panned out quite well: £38,000,000 for Sergio Agüero, who has netted 64 times for the club; £24,000,000 for the most proficient two-way midfielder in the world, Yaya Toure; and a paltry £6,000,000 for the rock of their defense, Vincent Kompany. In all, the club has spent a staggering £692,150,000 — well more than a billion U.S. dollars — on players since its acquisition by the ADUG.
However disgraceful its superfluous assets, the project sure has borne fruit — making an odd trend of allowing former Arsenal to taste silverware. Man City captured Premier League titles in 2012 and 2014, an FA Cup in 2011 and a Football League Cup in 2014. Its current teamsheet, meanwhile, could easily fill out two starting XI’s that could reasonably compete for another EPL Title in 2015.
Still missing from their conquests, however, is the holy grail of any European Football Club: a Champions League trophy. Their struggles, and a potential source of pleasure for sadistic fans, are as peculiar as they are tragic for a team which looks so dominant on paper.
In the club’s first season in CL, 2011-12 — a year that saw them win the EPL title — City failed to emerge from their group containing Bayern Munich, Villarreal and Napoli. City lost, 2-1, in Naples during their second-to-last game, ensuring the eventual one-point deficit that would keep from the knockout stage.
The following year, finishing runners-up in EPL, they finished dead last in their group — facing a steeper challenger this time, being placed with Ajax, Real Madrid, and eventual tournament runners-up Borussia Dortmund. The winless campaign saw City lose and tie (and only narrowly) against the only team against whom they were favored, Ajax.
Last season, another domestic title-winning year, saw them finally break through. In a group stage campaign that finished with a 3-2 away, they ended even on points with Bayern Munich, settling for second on goal differential. Money could not conquer tradition, however, losing 4-1 on aggregate against Barcelona in the first knockout stage, the Group of 16.
One would think that, after all of this disappointment, this season would finally see the club's fate reversed. And yet, somehow, City seems inexplicably cursed. Though they have two games in hand, against Bayern Munich and Roma, they currently sit at the bottom of their table with just two points. The campaign has featured one particularly insulting, trademark result: a 2-1 home loss to CSKA Moscow last Wednesday — with two late red cards erasing any hopes of grinding out a point.
It is difficult to explain why City has struggled so severely — and to me, satisfyingly— while fielding such talent-packed squads.
One could suggest the EPL offers a more competitive and exhausting campaign than most domestic leagues, allowing elite Bundesliga and La Liga clubs to focus more on European competition. This line of thought fails, however, when you look at the results of EPL’s other Champions League representatives. In their first campaign, Chelsea and Arsenal both finished top of their groups, with Chelsea eventually winning the competition. Manchester United and once again, the Gunners, were able to advance the next year — even with arguably shallower depth charts.
It really seems to come down to unlucky draws for The Sky Blues. Their 2011-12 group contained a Napoli side led by a fearsome, priming front three in Cavani, Hamsik, and Lavezzi — and eventual runners-up Bayern Munich. They found themselves with eventual runners-up Borussia Dortmund and powerhouse Real Madrid in 2012-13. Even when they finally managed to advance to the knockout round, the draw paired them with legendary La Liga giants Barcelona.
City’s EPL counterparts did not face such steep competition, at least in the group stages. Nonetheless, their current performance can’t really be excused against beatable sides like CSKA Moscow and Roma. You might call it bad luck. I prefer karma.
Struggle on, you Citizens.
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