Now that it’s over, I can confess to the world that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing at the start of sorority rush. When family members inquired during Winter Break, where-oh-where was I rushing, my response was an unfailingly honest, “wherever will have me,” accompanied by a laugh of — hopefully — endearing self-pity.
While I knew those who asked only ever had the best of intentions, this question always struck a nerve, bringing me back to the predictions my fellow first-year friends made all throughout first semester. I was constantly met with phrases like, “Oh, she is such a this-and-that,” and “No way she’ll be in you-know-where, she’s way more of a you-know-what…” regarding who was ostensibly best suited for which house.
I bit my tongue every time this unsolicited speculation came up — after all, who were any of us to talk? Inter-Sorority Council regulations technically forbid potential rushees from associating with sorority members excessively prior to the recruitment process. So, in theory, anyone’s association with established sororities was minimal at best.
I have my own qualms about this rule and others like it, so it was never the idea of being associated with any one house pre-rush that bothered me — instead, it was the idea that every and any sorority is made up of exactly the same kind of people. It was the idea that sororities are different, but the individuals within them are not.
This mindset, to me, is unreasonable and demeaning.
To suggest all Greek women in a given chapter are the same is to imply they’re not worth getting to know. It insinuates that after hearing some cute couplet claiming to convey the personality of a sorority, you know all you need to know.
I have always hoped to find — and, equipped with my own rush experience, have recently confirmed — that the anti-individualist sentiment so often linked to sororities is fiercely untrue. Contrary to popular belief, and the ideas “Legally Blonde,” “House Bunny” or whatever other Greek-centric film will have you believe, the people I’ve been lucky enough to meet in sororities are great — driven, dynamic and, most importantly, distinct.
There’s no better time to take note of that than now.
The National Panhellenic Conference’s recent regulations barring sorority women from participating in Boys’ Bid Night falls victim to the same line of stereotyping. To assume that all sorority women are unable to act as individuals, that they are all passive and complacent, is unfair to the diverse women in the Greek system.
The responses I’ve witnessed over the past few days prove the stereotype regarding female passivity to be overwhelmingly false. I’ve always been a believer in the individualism I knew must exist within the Greek community, and I’ve been lucky enough to personally witness this in the past few days. Angry as I may be when rules are thrust upon us from “above” — particularly at a school which prides itself on student self-governance — I can’t help but be warmed by the strength of recent responses.
I’ve been lucky enough to see it up close, as a plethora of voices around Grounds have questioned, argued and disagreed with the rules set forth by their governing chapters. I’ve seen it as I’ve watched girls who I barely knew a week ago lean in and whisper to me about the article they are planning to write speaking out against a sexist approach to so-called safety. I’ve seen it when a friend in another sorority went out of her way to invite me and others to a rally protesting these new regulations.
The controversy brought on by the banning of Boys’ Bid Night has highlighted, among other things, the fact that no two sorority women are exactly alike. Try telling us that we’re the same — try treating us like we’re all the same silent, spellbound sheeple we’re so often made out to be, and believe me, you’ll get quite the response. We’ve seen it.
When it comes to rush, I’ve heard many people say the system is “broken.” Despite my own positive experiences, I can’t help but agree. However, recruitment is not the only faulty aspect of the Greek system — the NPC’s mandate is proof of that. I’m happy to say, though, that the strong responses these rules have elicited are an indication of positive change happening within the system. We — Greeks and non-Greeks, men and women — are individuals, and we want to be treated as such.
Mary’s column runs biweekly Thursdays. She can be reached at m.long@cavalierdaily.com.
Correction: National Pan-Hellenic Council has been changed to National Panhellenic Conference.
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