In the past couple of weeks, articles about sex have swamped the website of The Cavalier Daily, describing at length the so-called hook-up culture at the University. Some articles pinpoint the act of sex directly while others focus on the before and after instead of sex itself. In response to these articles, I asked just one question: what is the ideal hook-up culture?
Take a moment to consider this question. Now take another, and another and even a fourth. Hopefully you will realize the question itself is somewhat loaded, as it implies one person’s opinion is more important than another’s.
Let’s say for a moment you believe the ideal hook-up culture is one in which students only hook up with those whom they see themselves dating in the future. This is not to say a relationship is guaranteed; it just means that the possibility is real. On a campus with such a hook-up culture, girls would no longer trudge in high heels through mud on their 9 a.m. walk of shame, and guys will no longer feel rejected after suffering a “no-response” after triple-texting a former lover.
But what makes this hook-up model the correct model? Is it merely personal opinion? Isn’t it possible your monogamous favoritism is based off societal pressures which have convinced you marital monogamy is the only truly acceptable form of adult relationship? If we look at the world, out of over 1,000 societies 186 are monogamous and 453 have occasional polygyny (with others having more frequent polygyny or polyandry). Even within the United States, Utah used to have legal polygamy until the government threatened the legal standing of the Mormon Church. As an interesting side note, last year a federal judge actually ruled against the anti-polygamy law, making it legal again (the case might reach the Supreme Court, in which case it could have a monumental effect on the populus). So, who are we to say our sentiments for a particular lifestyle trump those of particular Mormons or even of 453 other societies around the world?
On the flip side, maybe you think the ideal hook-up culture should promote complete sexual freedom. It is okay if every night you go out, bring home a special friend, get it on, go your separate ways and then rinse and repeat. This way, extenuating feelings won’t blossom. Breakups will rarely occur because relationships will rarely occur. Students simply enjoy some good-old college fun.
There’s certainly a lot to say to the proponents of this worldview. Even if you feel comfortable being extremely promiscuous, there is a high chance one of your nocturnal partners does not. When you share a moment with one of these adoring mates yet hold no intention of promoting further actions, don’t you hurt them in some way? Is it not somewhat immoral to lead someone on?
Obvious counterpoints and supporting arguments exist for all sides of the argument; each viewpoint clearly has its own respective pros and cons. The question then remains: can we really declare any definitive right and wrong code of conduct?
I honestly believe no one has the right to determine which lifestyle, or which culture, college campuses should adopt. The hook-up culture debate is an endless one, and thus tireless and completely pointless. Debating over something so polarizing will never yield a true, positive result.
Everyone should follow his own code of conduct. If you want to play the dating card, I’m positive you will find someone around Grounds that shares a similar sentiment. On the other hand, if you strictly yearn for countless sexual conquests, I’m sure several others will join you in your sexcapades. Either way, never once should you judge someone else by his code of conduct. Whether one has sex with the whole school or absolutely no one, the most important thing is to feel comfortable doing it — literally and figuratively. Confidence is the key, for as long as you don’t physically break any hearts, you’re in the clear. Get out there and have sex — or not. Whose opinion matters but your own?
Nate Menninger is an Opinion columnist for The Cavalier Daily. He can be reached at n.menninger@cavalierdaily.com.
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