Valentine’s Day in elementary school is blissfully simple. You spend one afternoon covering a shoebox you brought from home with lopsided red and pink construction paper hearts, then circle around the classroom stuffing one Peanut’s themed slip of paper — with a Hershey’s Kiss taped to the bottom if your mom was feeling really generous — into each classmate’s box, no questions asked.
As we get older, it becomes more complicated to establish criteria for our Valentines. In middle school, you only send them to a few of your closest friends, and maybe your seventh grade boyfriend if you’re in one of those relationships. You may stuff one in your crush’s locker if you were feeling really bold that day. In high school, you barely send any at all — unless it’s one of those pop culture puns and it’s posted innocuously on someone’s Facebook wall.
Despite the clichés and expectations surrounding Valentine’s Day, V-Day season behaviors are a microcosm of how we look at romance during the rest of the calendar year. That is, once we grow up and learn there is a chance our affections may not be reciprocated, we are far less likely to express them.
In college, I’ve found myself surrounded by conflicting signals regarding how people pursue romantic endeavors because students subscribe to any and all of the different ways in which we express our emotions.
In a metaphorical sense, some still show up to the classroom with an arm full of cards and the confidence to give them out, regardless of how many they receive in return. Others approach romance in college as if they were keeping a Valentine tucked in their pockets at all times, waiting until they are 100 percent sure their recipients have prepared cards to reciprocate.
With the many ways college students can romantically disconnect, it’s no wonder committed, college relationships are generally met with shock and maybe even a little cynicism — because come on, does the first-year couple on a date in Newcomb remind anyone else of the middle school kids holding hands in the middle of the hallway?
And for all the people whose shoeboxes are left empty, or those who are still too nervous to hand theirs out in the first place, it can be a disheartening to watch two people appear to get it right on the first try.
Strangely enough, I think we had it figured out in elementary school. All those silly slips of paper and fun-sized candy bars never failed to put a smile on our faces. And so this year, I’m advocating for channeling your inner kindergartener. Send out those Valentines, make someone’s day — and maybe someone who has been holding on to a card for you will be inspired to do the same.
Kristin’s column runs biweekly Tuesdays. She can be reached at k.murtha@cavalierdaily.com.
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