THE ATHLETE: Clad in all Nike everything, this person woke up at 5 a.m. and has already completed a workout harder than anything you’ve done since high school preseason. You adjust your pace, walking far enough behind him or her so it’s not creepy, but close enough to admire that calf definition.
THE PROSPECTIVE STUDENT: These walkers are absurdly easy to spot. I’ll share some insider secrets with you: they don’t have backpacks, actually look presentable and pretend to know exactly where they’re going while freaking out inside about how lost they are.
THE ROADRUNNER: Unfortunately, this was me last Friday when I woke up at 9:45 a.m. for my 10 a.m. class. Although I made it there in nine minutes, whether or not I brushed my teeth and went in the same clothes I wore to bed will remain a mystery. The fence on the train tracks certainly didn’t help my case as I was running to class with my backpack on.
THE FASHIONISTA: Why do you look so nice? Are you on your way to a runway show? You only have a few more years in which leggings are a semi-acceptable form of pants — take advantage of them.
THE PERSON WITH QUESTIONABLE FASHION: I am talking to you sir, wearing flip flops and shorts in the snow. There’s a time and a place for this warm weather gear, and Virginia in February is neither the time nor the place.
THE PACK: These are the people who walk five across on the sidewalk and expect you — the lone wolf — to step in the street to avoid them. If you don’t, you will be stampeded. These people are the worst.
HEADPHONES PEOPLE: These are the people who need a good beat to walk to or simply want to avoid all human contact. As I am not a morning person, I fall into the latter category. Walking to class in the morning, I am guaranteed to have my hat on, headphones in and head down.
HEADPHONES PHONE CALL PEOPLE: At first glance, you think these are just headphones people. Then, they start speaking and you think they’re singing along to their music. Then you hear, “Well, it kind of itches, but at Student Health they said it would be fine,” and you realize those aren’t song lyrics.
THE PERSON WITH THE IRREGULAR PACE: This person can’t seem to decide if he or she wants to go fast or slow. You don’t know if you should walk fast enough to pass him or her or slow down to an uncomfortable pace. You finally decide to pass this person, and after a short burst, resume your normal pace. Two minutes later, he or she passes you. You are defeated.
THE PERSON YOU REALLY DON’T WANT TO SEE: Maybe you hooked up with that girl last weekend, or maybe you just can’t bear to pretend to be interested in talking to that guy. You immediately begin to think of alternate routes and weigh your options. If I take the CAT downtown and then take a cab to class, I won’t have to see him, right?
YOUR PROFESSOR: This could be a blessing or a curse. If it’s someone like Lou Bloomfield, it will be the best day of your life — it’s impossible not to be happy after seeing his shining face. However, if it’s your Spanish teacher and you don’t know whether to say “Hi” or “Hola” and instead look down at your phone, it’s painful.
YOUR PILLOW: You didn’t go to class and your bed is your only companion for the rest of the day. I see no problem here.
Avery’s column runs biweekly Wednesdays. She can be reached at a.moyler@cavalierdaily.com.
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