To create a Grindr account all you need is a phone with Internet connection and about 30 seconds to put in your e-mail, a password and the captcha code (so they know you’re human). With roughly 10,000 new users every day adding to the current database of 5 million profiles across 192 countries, Grindr is one of the fastest growing “gay social media” apps in the world. Just like with our hetero counterparts and their Tinder, gay hook up culture is alive and flourishing at the University.
Except for those staunchly opposed to hook-up culture, Grindr has touched almost every gay man’s life at some point. It can be difficult to spontaneously meet another gay man within the same social situations that our fellow hetero Hoos meet each other. Unlike its Tinder counterpart, Grindr gives you options as to why you are on it. Some put that they are on there for “friends” and “chats,” the occasional first-year will put down that he’s looking for a “relationship,” many are brave enough to put that they’re on there for “dates” and “right now.” However, given the unusual amount of “networking” going on at 2 a.m., I feel it’s fair to say most of our peers on Grindr are on there for a good night.
One of the defining traits of Grindr is how you can use the profiles of others. The profiles are organized into a square grid four thumbnail pictures across and with an infinite scroll downwards. Something that is very distinct to the University’s geographic location (which is how profiles are organized, by a user’s proximity to you), is the abundance of blank profile pictures and lack of face pictures. And there’s two possible explanations for this.
One is that users are still closeted and do not want to disclose anything that might out them publicly. There are definitely a lot of those — especially hailing from the Greek community — on the app. While I have found the University to be a pretty accepting community, I can understand why so many of my queer peers are concerned about coming out and aren’t ready.
Another reason is that those users may be new to Grindr and are sticking their toes tentatively into the gay hook up world and aren’t ready to put up a picture of themselves. They are in the Fassinger Model’s “exploration” stage and are characterized by longing, excitement and wonder. And so while sex can be just sex, or no-strings-attached (“NSA,” as is said on the app), there can be some emotional baggage for those who are exploring their sexual desires for the first time. One bad experience or rejection can leave a still developing gay man with a very pessimistic view of himself and lower his self-esteem. He may also feel rejected by the gay community even though these apps are not inclusive of all the LGBTQ community. And more importantly, it can ruin a man’s relationship to sex and make him averse to exploring again.
I think most gay men at the University, though, are out and ready to experience the same crazy college nights others are making memories of. With every incoming class it feels that more students are arriving at the University already out to their family and high school friends — and therefore are ready to partake in hook-up culture.
Now, I am by no means advocating for an end to apps like Grindr or discouraging gay men from using them. Because of gay social media apps, I have made some amazing friends, had great sex and even gotten a boyfriend or two. There can be a sense of community when interacting with these guys online: so many gay men try to minimize their sex lives publically, especially to their families, in an attempt to conform to heteronormative ideals and be “just like everyone else.” Having an outlet online where we can just talk frankly about sex and our interests can be a very bonding experience — even if nothing sexual actually happens. However, as with most sexually charged social spaces, one should be cautious and aware. Not everyone is on these apps to be your friend but not everyone is looking for just sex either. Whether you’re looking for “friends” or “right now,” in the end, Grindr can be a goldmine for someone ready to mingle.
Andre Sanabia is a second-year in the College.
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