I began a routine last year where I would go to two different coffee shops within a single hour in an afternoon, every other afternoon. This wasn’t necessarily to fuel any sort of caffeine addiction but rather was done out of convenience: I needn’t bore you with the details, but take my word for it — it made perfectly logical sense.
However, to any random onlooker who also happened to oh-so-strangely be in both of those different cafes at the same time, my coffee shop hopping must have appeared as needless as it sounds. So you can imagine my embarrassment when, while using yet another one of my unlimited meal swipes at Cafe McLeod, the familiar-looking cashier looked me in the eyes and plainly stated: “I see you every day. You’re always in Nau just before coming here.” Caught red-handed.
What began as humiliation on my end turned into a friendly acquaintance. After calling me out for my cafe-hopping, I laughed guiltily and we exchanged pleasantries. As it turns out, the cashier, Mary, split her time between working at Cafe McLeod and the Nau Starbucks, switching between the two buildings each day as I was in class (hence our repeated overlap at either venue).
For my second year, I’ve ditched that glistening Unlimited Meal Plan for old-fashioned home cooking. This, of course, has its benefits — goodbye, Aramark! Goodbye O-Hill sickness scares! — but in so doing, I’d been able to make do with little-to-no stops at either of my old haunts, and hadn’t seen Mary since last May, until just a couple weeks ago.
Midterms on my mind, I found myself frazzled and fighting feelings of constant worry, and so, I did what so many others before me have done and treated myself. I spared five dollars in the hopes of uplifting my spirits and investing in a sugar-filled cup of “coffee.” This, of course, brought me to Nau Starbucks where I was pleased to see Mary behind the counter. She saw me first, and immediately called out a friendly greeting.
The conversation was short, but I left Nau feeling more rejuvenated by our exchange than I felt after downing the so-called coffee.
It struck me that so few words could make such a bold impact on my day. A notoriously talkative person, I don’t do well with brevity — in conversation, in writing, or really in any format.
In recent reflections, I’ve realized when it comes to friendships, I tend to invest heavily in a close-knit handful of people. Whether that’s intentional or not may take some more in-depth psychological analysis. But the point is, while I enjoy and appreciate the more peripheral people in my life, I don’t know that I’ve ever realized the pivotal role mere acquaintances can (and often do) play in improving my day and building me up.
That sub-60-second conversation I had with Mary reminded me that the simplest of hellos and the most modest of how are yous can actually improve someone’s day.
To be fair, how many times do you actually respond honestly when someone asks you how you’re doing in passing? Probably rarely. But, sometimes — cue sappy end-of-teen-movie music here, if you feel so compelled — those little interactions mean more than just filler. Thinking back on my brief conversation with Mary, my first thought was that our back-and-forth struck me so because of its timing: I was stressed, and someone took an interest in my current state. Kind, of course, but also coincidental.
After some continued contemplation, however, I’ve realized the reason for the impact of Mary’s brief conversation with me had more to do with its genuineness than with its timing. Someone who I barely knew — who I hadn’t seen in several months and had hardly spoken to even before that — was taking time out of her hectic schedule to carry out a condensed conversation with me. So, as much as some people like to begrudge empty conversation, I think conversation in passing has an important place.
Mary’s column runs biweekly Thursdays. She can be reached at m.long@cavalierdaily.com.
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