10. The Bill of Rights:
Wear a tank top and proudly display your right to bear arms! Write something controversial on your forehead and declare your freedom of speech! Who said politics couldn’t be fun? Runner up for best group of 10 costume: nine bowling pins and a ball (I recommend turning Trinity into your own personal bowling alley,).
9. The Nine Event Notifications You Get Each Day on Facebook:
Do you think anyone actually crawled the Kappa Delta Corner Crawl? Will there really be “some alcohol, but please BYOB” at the luau-themed pre-game on Friday? Is Kendall Street Company really playing at your event? Will I get a job from the career fair? Can a guest speaker really change my life? Grab eight friends and proudly display all those life-enriching get-togethers you were invited to. For an added element of fun, include attending, not attending, maybe, and the elusive interested buttons on your costume. Then you’ll really know what people think of you.
8. Eight Crazy U.Va. Nights:
The possibilities are endless. Foxfield, YAR, Easters (RIP,) Boys’ Bid Night (also RIP,) that date function at Rapture, the night you realize way too late you have to hike Humpback at sunrise the next morning, a home basketball game, or your best friend’s 21st birthday. Odds are, if you’ve been at U.Va. for a year then you have the means to dress up as all these nights without having to spend any money. Show your school spirit and relive those nights you probably wish you could never think about again. The point of Halloween is to be scary, right?
7. Seven Corner Restaurants:
Here’s my pitch. Roots: dress up as either a tree, a really long line, or the shame-walk you have to take to an unhealthier choice because the line is just way too long. The Biltmore: rub dirt all over your face and embody the TV show Survivor, then wear a clock around you neck a la Flavor Flav and be Survivor Hour. Christian’s: one person purchase a pizza onesie, and another dresses up as Jesus. Bodo’s: build yourself a bagel costume or just look really hungover. Trinity: wear rave gear. Little John’s: find a guy named John and either shrink him or have him put shoes on his knees. And finally, the White Spot: either be an actual white spot, or crack an egg on your head to embody the Gus Burger. Odds are you’ve probably spilled a Gus Burger all over yourself before, so one more time can’t hurt.
6. A Half Dozen Duck Donuts:
Is this an arbitrary number? Or am I really just helping you embrace the unfortunate necessity of portion control? They say it’s cheaper by the dozen but according to math, it’s cheaper to buy fewer things. Dress up as a donut by covering yourself in icing and attaching some sort of topping to yourself. If you’re really committed to the Instagram, you know that maple-bacon is the only way to go. Pro of this costume: you’ll get to eat donuts all night. Con of this costume: people will be trying to eat you all night. Take this costume advice at your own risk.
5. An Entire Basketball Team:
…without the coach. This is a self-directed and self-driven costume. Show your initiative by being a student-run basketball team, and maybe go as far as adding it to your resume upon successful survival of the night. There is no I in team, and there is also no coach in team. You can’t spell team without me, so put that on your resume (and don’t tell your other teammates) as showing the most leadership drive and ingenuity. Plus, once the night is over, that doesn’t mean the costume has to be over: start recruiting the best candidates for next year.
4. The Many Incarnations of Eddy’s Tavern:
First it was No. 3, then it was Poe’s, and now it’s Eddy’s Tavern. You might be thinking: why was this listed as a four-person costume if the name has only changed three times? Wow everyone by predicting the next name change.
3. The Holy Trinity:
Go the traditional route and be father, son, and the Holy Spirit. Go the less traditional route and be your three favorite bars. Or, just have all three people go as Trinity. #Blessed. Take it a step further and be the emotional rollercoaster that is time spent at Trinity. Serenity for the daytime, rage for the amount of time you spend waiting in line between midnight and one a.m., and disgust for the late night moment when you first lay eyes on the dance floor.
2. The Amount of Classes You Can Skip Without Penalty:
I know it, you know it, Noah’s Ark knew it: two is the golden number. Whether it says it on your syllabus or not, I firmly believe that it is a school wide rule that a professor must give you two unexcused absences before fining you, calling the police, or taking points off of your grade. How would you dress as this? Dress up as the subject of the class. If you haven’t done the readings, dress up as the excuse that you’ll inevitably be making when you skip the third class for that very reason.
1. You:
You are one-of-a-kind. You’re unique. You are you. Maybe your right foot turns in a little when you walk, or maybe you have an insatiable craving for peanut butter at all times of the day. Maybe you’re convinced you’re the best email writer this side of the Mississippi. Whatever you’re known for — except if you’re Drake, stop dancing — embrace your talents and do you for Halloween this year. No purchase necessary.