1. What’s the deal with the texts I receive from my mother?
Thanks to pop culture my mother is a self-proclaimed “cool mom.” This means every other day or so I receive a text in reference to something only 15-year-old girls should be discussing. One recent example: “You used to call me on my cellphone...I know when that hotline bling.” Translation: my mother wanted me to call her and rather than texting me her usually cryptic “call me,” she brought Drake into the picture.
2. What’s the deal with pumpkins?
I really don’t understand the obsession with everything pumpkin-related. Pumpkin Spice Lattes are available once the temperature drops below 70, Trader Joe’s basically pukes pumpkins for the entire season of fall and even Snapchat made a despicable snapchat story this week called “Pumpkin Spice Life.” I don’t get it. Why pumpkins? Why can’t we be obsessed with squash? Do they feel left out? Are squash the black sheep of harvest vegetables? “But spaghetti squash is delicious!” my tastebuds scream. Honestly, the only pumpkin I ever liked was a mini one that a first year boy delivered to my roommates and me two years ago as a gift for helping him get into a frat party. I would appreciate being enlightened about this obsession as soon as possible. Thanks.
3. What’s the deal with Instagramming selfies?
This is a question I’ve had for awhile. Instagram’s mission statement is “to capture and share the world’s moments.” Is posting a photo of yourself with the caption “Mondays,” “mood” or a Bible verse the best way to live up to what Instagram hopes is a “world moment?” I wish Instagram would rule that the only way selfies are allowed is if the user is required to post the caption, “This is my face. I took a picture of it. I think I look good. I hope you think I look good, too.” At least that would be honest and straightforward. Think about my well-being next time you consider taking part in the made-up practice of “Selfie Sunday.”
4. What’s the deal with covering up webcams on laptops?
What are you hiding? Every time I am in a class and see someone’s webcam taped over, I’m overcome with questions. Why? What are you afraid of? What did you do to make you fear someone is watching you? Even if someone has somehow hacked into your computer, what can they get out of watching your face in class that they can’t get from your Facebook profile picture? I have no research to back this up, but I think more people are paranoid of people who cover their webcams than actual webcam security concerns. The NSA already phone taps us. You might as well not go through all the trouble of hiding.
5. What’s the deal with wearing white pants after Labor Day?
If you know me, you probably know how much this bothers me. Do the rules of fashion mean nothing? If Anna Wintour saw you wearing white pants, I like to think she would “accidentally” spill her coffee on you. I once connected with a woman on the bus over a pedestrian we spotted wearing white pants in the dead of winter, and she proceeded to give the entire bus a little lesson called “Fashion 101.” I wish she could be the next U.Va. Arts Speaker. I think she would give Kevin Spacey a run for his money. I like to assume people who wear white after Labor Day are the type of people who wear white to a wedding — because that’s just awesome. Great. Super. Keep doing that. Everyone will love it.
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