It is an universally acknowledged truth that a single girl in a sorority will want a date to her formal. It is also noted that this can be one of the most difficult tasks a girl can face. It seems like all of the University’s sororities have unionized to decide to have their formals on the same weekend, and this only piles on additional competition to the already stressful process of finding the elusive “perfect date.”
Over the past few weeks my friends and I had all been scrambling to find the ideal date, each adopting different tactics and strategies. After an in-depth analysis of social behavior and convention, I’ve been able to deduce that dates seem to fall into four major categories.
The most obvious of these are the boyfriends, or the almost-boyfriends. This can range from that guy you’ve been hanging out with for upwards of a month, who is either too lazy or too noncommittal to put a label on whatever your “thing” is, to the long-term high school boyfriend who drives all the way from Tech to get dressed up and relive memories from Senior Prom. Undoubtedly, this is the safest option. There’s no time wasted wondering how this date feels about you, and you probably already know that his dance moves aren’t stellar. However, this isn’t an option that’s readily available to every girl on Grounds.
Without a boyfriend on-hand to escort you to your formal, the next-best alternative is often the “best guy friend.” This is the guy that you complain about Newcomb lunch options with, probably have at least one class with and might even live in your building. The chances of any awkward sexual tension are literally zero, as they have been ever since you saw him vomit while trying to hit on that girl from his ENWR that one time during a night out. The excitement of any possible romance isn’t there, but you know that he’ll bust some crazy moves on the dance floor to keep you laughing. He’s a safe bet, and a great choice. But the “best guy friends” are often in short supply, as they’re usually the go-to date for lots of girls.
This leaves us with the wild-card option that only the bravest girls seem to choose ― the hookup. This is the guy you met recently, somewhere between Coupe’s and Boylan. He has potential to be date perfection, but you can’t be sure, because the details of last weekend’s events are still a bit blurred. The night could either end up being really fun or it could be a tragically awkward six hours spent making small talk and trying not to discuss what happened between you two the weekend prior.
When the three above options have been exhausted, it’s generally the time that a girl hits rock bottom and delves into whatever GroupMe or group text contains her most well-connected friends. She asks for a friend to set her up with someone. It’s a blind date, but not technically a “date-date,” because, let’s face it — this guy is a total stranger (even though you spent approximately 20 minutes on his Facebook page before agreeing to have your friend ask him out for you). The primary caveat to this option is that you should only ask your most trusted friends to help you find the guy, as some blind dates have been known to partake in illegal activities in the bathroom of the formal venue, be incapable of direct eye contact or have otherwise created uncomfortable situations for all parties involved.
But sometimes none of these options work out. If you’re as single and unlucky as I am, your “best guy friend” will get asked by another girl before you get to him, so you’ll resolve yourself to a second-tier guy friend who bails on you three hours before the formal is set to begin. While this is an undeniably shitty situation, even going stag isn’t the end of the world. When this happens, you can just go with your girlfriends, who are the main reason you decided to drop the $60 on formal tickets anyway.
I’ll admit that I panicked and seriously considered not going to the event at all when I realized that I’d have to go solo, but a couple of my sorority sisters called me and demanded that I attend, dropping lines like, “It won’t be the same without you,” and guilted me into going. And I’m glad they did, because I actually had a really fun night, which ended with me dancing the night away in a floor-length gown at a frat house.
While the “perfect date” can be hard to find, especially at a university as big as ours, finding amazing friends isn’t nearly as tough. So, while you’re stressfully combing through every guy that you follow on Instagram, remember that regardless of who you do (or don’t) bring, if you have some good friends with you, the night can’t possibly be anything other than a good time.
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