I always feel mixed up when I come home. I drive two hours into a whole new world of Northern Virginia. There are strange sights like people outside the age range of 18 to 24. It’s a whole different lifestyle too. Even though I do a lot of the same activities it all just feels so different. Let me give you some examples.
Going to the library:
School: It would take me three semesters to find parking, so I walk instead. I look for friends, ignore the books. I stay for hours.
Home: It takes me 30 seconds to park. I look for books, ignore the people. I check out and leave within 15 minutes without talking to a soul.
Crossing the street:
School: Push a button, cross. If there’s no crosswalk, glance back and jaywalk, who cares?
Home: Push a button, wait 15 minutes. Once you get the walk sign remember to make forceful eye contact with drivers eager to make their right turn over your corpse. Jaywalk? I actually don’t feel like dying today, thanks.
Wild weekend nights:
School: I go to an apartment and sample their Burnett’s collection. It usually doesn’t go well.
Home: “They’re definitely going to choose House Number Two! It’s got the three and a half bathrooms! They need that house for the growing family! It’s closest to the school, too. I don’t know why you’re so stuck on Number One, it’s a broom closet!” — My mom and I watching House Hunters on HGTV
Seeing someone from Northern Virginia:
School: Not a big deal.
Home: Really not a big deal.
Being up at midnight:
School: “We should probably migrate to Clemons” — Me and my fellow Alderman loyalists
Home: “I feel like I’m living in a motel with all these footsteps I hear all night!” — Mom
Things I’ve seen at 2 a.m.:
School: People streaking. A girl vomiting. A guy peeing. Crying drunk people. Laughing drunk people. Laughing then crying drunk people.
Home: An old man drinking milk in his car. A family of deer eat our bush. My neighbor getting his mail.
Driving:
School: Too many pedestrians crossing the street everywhere (see above) and the roads make no sense.
Home: Too many cars everywhere but at least our roads make sense except in McLean.
McDonald’s:
The exact same, even the feeling of guilt two minutes after I finish everything. How are they so consistent?
As you can see, I manage to be even more boring at home than I do at school. I’m having a great time being boring though. I finally got around to reading a book I just wrote an essay on, I had eggs that weren’t scrambled and served to the masses and doing laundry didn’t cost me $3.50. Don’t get me wrong, I love being at the University, but it’s such a refreshing feeling to not have something to worry about.
I had forgotten what it felt like to not have a task at hand to feel guilty about while I procrastinate. I think I could live this way for a couple more months.
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