Obviously, these will go backwards. For suspense.
10. “Game of Thrones”
Are you tired of not being invited to any watch parties? Do you find it crazy that almost the entire world sets aside time on Sunday like a national holiday to watch, but you somehow stay on the sideline? Maybe spend this summer trying to catch up, dummy*.
*I have never seen “Game of Thrones.” Sue me.
9. “I Think You Should Leave”
Okay, this one is not a joke. This show is wacky as heck, and if you’re reading the Humor section of a school newspaper, you’ll go anywhere to find jokes and a cheap laugh. Why not go to your laptop and type in “I Think You Should Leave” into Netflix dot com.
8. “You”
There is no better way to feel warm, cozy and safe inside than to watch a show about a stalker that completely breaks down the life of a girl and destroys everything she loves from the inside out. Wholesome!
7. “The Office” or “Friends” for the 100th time straight through
Look, I love these shows more than anything, but they’ve run their course. Do I love to watch the occasional episode and laugh almost every time? Yes. But loving “the Office” in 2019 is not a personality trait.
6. An Instagram livestream of someone making dinner
You wish you had these ingredients and that work ethic. I swear, if I could set aside the right amount of time to shop locally and buy better ingredients, I would be able to make some sick meals. Oh yeah, and if I had unlimited time and money. Or a private chef. That would help.
5. Wedding footage from your Uncle Gary’s wedding
You should’ve let me be the ring bearer, Gary. The wedding would have been so much better.
4. A YouTube compilation of vacation spots you won’t go to this summer
Wow, Bali looks absolutely incredible. Swimming with turtles in Hawaii isn’t too shabby either. Maybe if you photoshop yourself into a few pictures and read enough about an exotic location, you can convince people next semester that you actually went there!
3. The CCTV monitor at the local Target
There’s nothing better than getting the squad together, rolling down to the local Target, making faces at the security camera, and watching yourselves go absolutely bonkers in the monitor. Don’t be too wild, or you’ll get kicked out, and mom’s gonna get mad. Summer 2011, baby.
2. The footage from a camera you installed by your front door because you binged “You”
Yeah that’s right. Thanks for watching my recommendation back from number eight on this list! Now that you’re terrified of a stalker breaking into your house and stealing your stuff only to return it to you under the guise of a potential romantic partner, keep tabs on your house with a security camera! Now that’s entertainment.
1. Footage from Gary’s divorce proceedings
Oh yeah, that’s what you get for not letting me be the ring bearer, Gary.
Ben Miller is the Humor Editor for The Cavalier Daily. He can be reached at b.miller@cavalierdaily.com.
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