Hear, hear noble hoos! Enrollment week is approaching, like an impending storm cloud of spine-chilling doom. However, do not fret, readers. Since I have inherited a knack for panic over preparation and planning out literally every second of my day in order to avoid forgetting literally anything, I am more than happy to share my expertise in planning the perfect class schedule. In fact, as a rising third year, I have now earned the right to be able to look back on my first and second years with smugness, as if I know more now than I did then.
Believe it or not, it turns out that after attending this University for over a year, you learn a thing or two about getting through it all. Shocking, I know. And speaking from experience during prior enrollment weeks, there is no worse feeling than logging onto SIS right before your time period to learn in horror that the previous students have taken up all of the best course slots. This then leaves you to take early morning and late afternoon courses, if they are even available. Below I have listed a few tips and tricks to help you avoid tragedy.
- Make backups of your backups, and backups of those backups — What is the best way to prepare for the unknowable, you may ask? You must prepare for every single possible outcome. In order to have a successful class enrollment, you must not only have a backup schedule, but another, and another and probably another. You need backups of each individual class, a backup of said backup and more. This, of course, will lead to an array of possible schedules that you can resort to utilizing.
- Ignore classes that you are passionate about and get through the bland stuff first — Here is a fun trick, get all your requirements for your college curriculum out of the way first. This will take some time, for certain, but why spend your college days taking courses that you will enjoy and put a smile on your face when you can get all the nitty-gritty classes out of the way as quickly as possible. Forget your major, considering the University does not have you declare until your second year, there is absolutely no way that they would expect you to be able to complete all of its requirements in just four semesters. That would be wild.
- Sabotage those around you so they don’t go for the classes you want — there are a few select classes at this University that have a large following and are frequently desired. As a result, most find it incredibly difficult to get into desired courses that are popular if their enrollment date is not at the beginning of the period. I am looking at you, first years. There is, of course, an easy solution to this — sabotage. You need to badmouth the classes you want to every single person you overhear wanting to take them as well. Put them off taking the class so all the spots are left for just you. This will have no consequences, I am sure of it.
- Trick U.Va. Information Technology Services services into thinking you are a rising fourth year so you get first dibs — we all know that the more senior you are at this University, the higher the chance you have at selecting the courses you desire. So what better way to create the perfect schedule than tricking ITS, and any other controls over SIS, into thinking you are a rising fourth-year student so all the first dibs fall in your lap. Then, once enrollment is over and you have made your pickings, kindly point out the error and have it resolved. I can’t think of a more foolproof solution than this.
- Prepare in advance for disaster — Lastly, you must prepare for the worst. Prepare for the Wi-Fi to go out by traveling off Grounds, preferably home, just for your enrollment date. Prepare for the website to crash by opening it up on every electronic device you own or can get your hands on. Prepare for classes to be canceled or their times to be switched around by bribing who you need to so that doesn’t happen. Honor will love that. Just remember, there are no rules when it comes to planning the perfect solution. Do what it takes, no matter the possible academic and social ramifications.
Well, there you have it. I do not have to say “I hope these tips and tricks have helped you,” because I know they have. So I wish you adieu on your endeavors, may the enrollment deities be kind to you.
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