As a seasonal employee at a Starbucks in my hometown, I’ve noticed a pattern about people and the drinks they order. I’m here to share my observations about the type of person you are and recommendations for the kind of drink that matches your personality. A quick disclaimer though — these are only my personal experiences and assumptions about each drink and personality, so my theories may not always be right.
Caramel Macchiato
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re overpaying for a vanilla latte. Even worse, you’d probably be better off with ordering a vanilla latte anyways, especially if you like to stir it before you drink. This drink comes with vanilla syrup, two percent milk, espresso and caramel drizzle on top. Don’t ask me why this drink doesn’t have caramel syrup in it — I don’t know either.
If you order this drink, you probably don’t visit Starbucks very often as it’s a pretty basic and well-known beverage. If you are a frequent consumer of this drink, though, you probably don’t like to experiment with new drinks, which is understandable given the wide and often confusing array of options on the menu. For frequent student customers who order this drink, you’re probably in the School of Nursing as you always depend on a reliable drink to get your morning buzz. You need the caffeine in this drink every morning to wake you up from studying for your anatomy class all night long.
Pike Place
Pike Place is a medium roast with subtle flavors of chocolate and roasted nuts. If you order a Pike, you’re definitely a 40 year-old man and you probably order this coffee black. The people that order these are always at Starbucks way too early in the morning wearing a suit and tie with some sort of briefcase or professional bag in hand. You’re probably in a rush, and you don’t care what kind of coffee it is, as long as it’s coffee.
If you’re not a 40 year-old man, then you’re probably in the McIntire School of Commerce, specifically with a concentration in finance. You’ll need this coffee to get through your investment banking internship. In my opinion, it’s not one of the best quality roasts, but it’ll get you Comm majors through your day.
Vanilla Bean Frappuccino
You’re a child at heart. You either don’t like the taste of coffee and don’t know what else to get, or it’s summertime and you want a cold dessert. It’s probably a beautiful, warm day on Grounds and you might do your homework outside while sipping on this drink. You might have a day off classes today and you’re spending time with your friends on the Lawn.
You can’t go wrong with this drink, just make sure to be extra nice to your barista since it takes more effort to blend and assemble! It comes with whole milk, vanilla bean powder and a frappuccino base which makes the frappuccino into a smooth, icy drink instead of chunks of ice.
Iced Chai
You’re laidback and easygoing — not to mention your baristas love you. You’re probably friends with your barista and tip well. This is one of the easiest drinks to make, and we love making these during rush as it's only made up of chai and two percent milk.
If you get an iced chai, you’re probably a psychology major because you know how to socialize and chat up your barista. You’re the shoulder for your friends to cry on and their personal therapist. You probably don’t get this drink for the caffeine, but rather because you enjoy its sweet taste – just like you.
Pink Drink
You’re a great person and would do anything for your friends and family. You’re loyal to your drink, just like you are to your loved ones. Everyone I know that orders a pink drink only ever orders a pink drink — and I don’t blame them. This drink comes with a strawberry acai base that’s diluted with coconut milk and ice. The pink drink has the best sweet and slightly tart flavor, and the coconut milk adds the best creamy touch.
You’re most likely in Gen Z and are very friendly with your barista. If you get this drink, I imagine you’re the type of person that spends their entire day at Clem just to scroll through social media the entire time you’re there. You know what you like and stick with it.
Hot Chocolate
Our hot chocolate offers sweet mocha syrup and steamed milk. The people that order these swear that Starbucks makes the best hot chocolate. Similarly to those who order vanilla bean frappuccinos, you’re a child at heart and probably don’t like the taste of coffee either. It’s probably Christmastime and you came in with your entire family, but if it’s not, you’re the person that listens to holiday music year-round and has their Christmas tree up all year. Starbucks hot chocolate has never been my favorite, but if you order this, it’s definitely yours.
Sweet Cream Cold Brew
You’re into the classics and someone that needs their daily caffeine fix. Or, you’re probably pre-med and are addicted to your morning Starbucks to get you through your labs. My impression from your order is that you’re also a motivated and hard worker.
From my experience, you’re nice to your barista and probably don’t like all the crazy syrups that Starbucks has to offer. This is a basic drink — but in a good way, in the sense that it’s reliable and comforting. This drink comes with vanilla syrup, cold brew and a splash of sweet cream — which is phenomenal. Personally, this drink is one of my go-tos.
Bone Dry Nonfat Cappuccino
This drink comes with espresso and foam made from nonfat milk. If you order this cappuccino, you’re probably a stay-at-home mom with an insanely busy schedule — I have never seen anyone younger than 30 order this drink. You’re always in a rush, and you need your caffeine fix to get you through the day. Your kids are probably with you and may be throwing a tantrum because we just ran out of cake pops.
If you’re a student ordering this drink, I imagine that you’re the mom friend of the group — you always end up looking after your friends whenever you go out and somehow have a juice box in your bag. If you order this drink, you need to try something new. Even though this is one of my favorites to make, I recommend a refresher or something a little out of your comfort zone.
Nitro Cold Brew
You have a lot going on at school and work. If you order this, I am seriously worried for you because you are on your grind. People that order these need a lot of energy so if you order this drink, I bet you are in the engineering school or, more specifically, are a computer science major. I imagine that the people who order this bitter brew probably already have an internship or job secured at Google. You’re smart, hardworking and enjoy a strong coffee that’ll get you energized and invigorated for the day. This drink has one of the highest caffeine contents on the entire menu. This drink is made by infusing cold brew with nitrogen for a smoother taste and comes without ice.
Any viral drink
You’re willing to take risks and try new things, so you’re probably on the hunt for the best drink on the menu. If you order a viral drink, you have way too much time on your hands since you spent so much time on Tik Tok discovering these drinks. Join a club or pursue a minor.
I will say, some of these drinks end up being really good. I once had someone order a cold brew with mocha syrup and sweet cream cold foam with peppermint and mocha syrup in it. The customer swore by it and said that it tasted like a thin mint. I’ve also seen customers put raspberry syrup in their white mochas. I haven’t tried these yet, but you must be creative to come up with or find combinations like this.
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