The Aquatic and Fitness Center, or the AFC, is many things to many people — a place of activity, exercise or perhaps the perfect spot to subtly hint that you’re better than everyone else because you go to the gym.
Whatever the AFC is to you, there is undoubtedly a pattern you see when you go. I am not just talking about the same familiar faces — though I do see a person who wears the same orange shirt every single time I’ve seen him. I’m also talking about the kinds of workoutters that frequent the establishment.
Here’s a list of the types of people you’ll see at the AFC.
Wannabe Influencers
Do you ever see a girl in a matching workout set, makeup done and hair looking just a little TOO good for the gym? You are experiencing the Wannabe Influencer. The problem with these people is that they are not self aware AT ALL. They position their phone in between workouts and do them for the duration of filming, but you know it is for show.
Men who REALLY want you to know that they go to the gym
Similar to the wannabe influencers, these characters will post a Snapchat mirror selfie after every single workout. Not only that, they will ENSURE that everyone they know finds out they go to the gym. They’ll drop it in the middle of a conversation during which no one was discussing it, or they will be sure to shout out a random number and reassure everyone that they can bench that, for real.
The Expert Time Manager
This person DOES NOT have the time to be at the gym. They have a book open on the elliptical, are taking a Bluetooth phone call and responding to an email all at the same time. To their friends, they are an expert at time management and being efficient. But their friends haven’t seen them in their most vulnerable state — the I'm-being-embarrassingly-obnoxious-inside-the-AFC-state. They’ll keep up their perfected facade for a little while longer…
The Nonchalant
The Nonchalant is someone who wants you to know this is nothing they have not done before. They will be on the stair stepper watching TV as if they are doing the easiest walk of their lives. The worst part about the nonchalant is that they always seem to appear right next to you when you are absolutely going through it during your workout. They make everything look SO EASY! How do they do it? Are they even breathing hard? I know I always am.
The Gym Rat turned Yoga Baddie
This character is a fan favorite. They were an intense gym rat who didn’t shut up about macros, calories and protein. Suddenly, after viewing one vague TikTok video about “gut health,” they have become a spiritually adjacent, “intuitive eating” yoga expert. They talk a lot about taking it slow but also doing hot stability yoga. They’ll sweat just as much as they did during their gym rat era, just for a different reason. Usually, they will talk about some deep concept while doing an extremely uncomfortable yoga position.
These five types of patrons are just a glimpse of who you will see at the legendary Aquatic and Fitness Center. Next time you go to work out at the AFC, think about which category you might fall into as a character in someone else’s life!
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